Your personal identity might be tied in with going above and beyond for people everyday, but it’s not always a good idea. Find out why you shouldn’t overextend yourself, and how to stop doing it.
We all have people we care about in our lives who mean the world to us. How else will we spend our time except taking care of those people? When you love someone enough, nothing is too exhausting, too intrusive, or too much to ask- or is it? If you love deeply you may fall into the trap of overextending yourself, and that’s a perfect example of how sometimes too much of a good thing… is just too much. Join Mysticsense to find out the problems we run into when we do too much, give too much, and emotionally invest too much in other people. Don’t feel bad if you are an over-extender, because we have some simple ways you can stop doing it. If you’re tired of going above and beyond for people and not being valued for it, read on to find out what to do about it.
What is Overextending Yourself?
Overextending yourself means that you do too much. You can overextend yourself when you work too hard and don't get enough rest. You can overextend yourself when you try hard to do something that you're not suited to. Most people overextend themselves by going above and beyond for other people who really don't deserve their hard work. Overextending yourself means that you push yourself beyond your limits and you burden yourself excessively with commitments, work, or doing favors for other people. Most people have an honorable reason for doing this.
Usually, we overextend ourselves because we have good intentions and want to be helpful. We are focused so much on a goal that we forget our own limitations. We forget that we need to rest. We forget that we need a good work life balance. Most of all, we forget that we can't do everything for other people. Sometimes we overextend ourselves because we love someone more than they love us. Do you do this? Find out here: Do They Love You More? When You Love Them More
Isn’t it Best to Go Above and Beyond?
Sometimes, we're told that it's best to push ourselves past our limits. We're taught that limitations are all in the mind and are just imaginary. We are taught that we will never excel unless we push ourselves to the breaking point, and sometimes break ourselves to try and excel. Sometimes we're taught that we shouldn't hold back how much we offer to other people also. We are taught to be magnanimous and give until it hurts and then give some more. What happens when we do this is that it just keeps hurting.
Going above and beyond expectations shouldn't destroy us. It shouldn't deplete us emotionally, physically, or financially. Over extending ourselves does just that. So, if you're only focused on getting groundbreaking results, you might think that going above and beyond by overextending yourself is the best thing to do. It's really not. Overextending yourself is bad for a lot of reasons, but one thing that you need to keep in mind is that each individual human being is more important than objects, events., or things that we want to accomplish. We might be so afraid of failure that we overextend ourselves constantly, but failure isn't always a bad thing. Read here to find out why: The Positive Side of Failing- Why It’s Good
Why Overextending Isn’t Good
Overextending yourself pushes you beyond healthy limits, and might push you past the breaking point. You will always be more important than your job, a manipulative friend or a family member, or an unrealistic goal. Physically, mentally, and emotionally overextending yourself will stress you in ways that are not good.
Physically
Physically, your health will suffer when you overextend yourself. You can worry yourself to the point that you don't get enough sleep, if you allow yourself to sleep at all. Lack of sleep can create physical problems, including muscle pain, headaches, eye fatigue, and will lower your immunity. This will open you up to getting sick more often, and all of this holds you back from being your best and meeting your top performance levels.
Mentally
Mentally, overextending yourself creates challenges as well. When you over extend yourself, your ability to concentrate drops. If you're going without sleep, your mind will not function as well, because it heals and recharges when you get enough sleep. Overextending yourself compromises your ability to focus on the things that are actually important and makes you overfocus on things that are not. You can obsess over unimportant things and really lose sight of what is important in life. Overextending yourself can also compromise your ability to remember things. Read about the power of memory here: The Mysterious Power of Memories
Emotionally
Overextending yourself hurts emotionally as well. Especially if you're the one making all the efforts and doing all the work, your feelings can get hurt and you're going to feel taken advantage of. You can become so exhausted and so stressed, you feel sensitive about small things and become upset when there's actually nothing wrong. When you believe that it is necessary for you to overextend yourself instead of respecting your own needs and boundaries,iIt compromises your relationship that you have with yourself, holding you back from self-love. Remember, the relationship that you have with yourself is your most important relationship.
Signs You Overextend Yourself
Signs that you have a bad habit of extending yourself or not mysterious. Chances are, everyone can see them but you. If you're always going above and beyond for people and you're never given any appreciation, you're definitely overextending yourself. If you're constantly doing things for people who can do things for you, but they won't, you're overextending yourself. If your health suffers, you feel resentful of the people that you're doing things for, or you feel downright overwhelmed, you're probably overextending yourself.
You’re Not Appreciated
When you're not appreciated, it's obvious. Even people who thank you for your hard work might not appreciate you. They show this when all they care about is what you do for them, but they won't spend time with you in a social setting when you're not doing things for them. People will show a sense of entitlement, basically telling you that they expect you to do the things that you do for them, and they believe that they deserve these things, even if they really don't. They might not even be nice to you when you do things for them. They can even be downright disrespectful, but read this article to find out how to get the respect you deserve: The Art of Being Respectful and Being Respected
There is No Reciprocity
There comes a time, no matter how hard working and capable you are, that you need people to do things for you. If the people who you're constantly going above and beyond for don't return the favor when it's their turn, you're overextending yourself. This is because you're doing things for people who don't want to do things for you. They don't see you as someone who they care about who helps them. They see you as someone who will do favors for them, help them with their work, and hand them things that they should get for themselves. There's no way they'll do anything for you.
Your Health Suffers
When you start to physically feel the strain of going above and beyond by overextending yourself, and doing too much, it's a wake up call. Losing sleep, neglecting healthy eating, foregoing exercise, and becoming stressed, which takes a toll on your mental health, are all signs that you're doing too much and your body is asking you to stop. Short-term, we all have to work a little harder sometimes, give up rest, and lose a little sleep, but if it becomes chronic, you're destroying yourself. If you catch it early, you can heal, though. Find some spells and prayers for healing here: Your Spell and Prayer for Healing Guide
You Feel Resentful
When you start to feel upset because you are constantly working extra hard to do things for other people, and you just don't feel like they deserve all your hard work, they probably don't. Anger and bitterness because you feel like someone is wronging you by expecting you to do so much as a wakeup call. Feeling frustration and disappointment due to the unfairness of being overextended is justifiable. People will almost always accept things that you give them, instead of telling you that you're doing too much. So, don't put yourself in the position of being upset with people who take too much from you. Just don’t do it.
You Feel Overwhelmed
A sure sign that you are overextending yourself is that you become overwhelmed, which comes after being exhausted. If you feel like you have an impossible to-do list, but are forging ahead as if you think you can meet ridiculous goals, you're overwhelming yourself. If you're doing enough work for three people, and somehow pulling it off all on your own, that's not super performance, that's overextending yourself. Overextending yourself means that you will be buried under too much responsibility, feelings, or just too much to do in general. At a certain point it will be too much to deal with and you just won't be able to cope. Self-care will help you to get out of overextending yourself and you can learn more here: Magical Care for Self in Stressful Times
How to Stop Overextending Yourself
Eventually, you'll either get tired of overextending yourself, or your body will stop you and you won't be able to anymore. When you decide that you don't want to overextend yourself anymore, there are several steps that you can take to stop doing it. First, it's important to know your limitations and respect your own boundaries as well as other peoples. If people haven't asked for your help, don't offer it, and just let them manage on their own. In the end, you will have to learn to focus on taking care of yourself instead of overextending yourself for other people.
Know Your Limits
You might feel like you should be capable of the same amount of work and accomplishments as the highest achiever you've ever met. Different people have different limits, and you need to learn what yours are. Your best friend might be comfortable only sleeping six hours every night, but you need nine hours of sleep each night. Don't push yourself to try and be like someone who you're not. Respect your own personal limits and you won't get overwhelmed. Sleep is crucial and good dreams are important. Learn about the meaning of nightmares here: The Meaning of Having a Nightmare
Respect Boundaries
Knowing your limits as well as other people's limits and respecting them means that you respect boundaries. Maybe your best friend is extremely unhealthy, and you know exactly what they can do to be healthy again. If they don't want to know, stop telling them. If that same friend keeps asking you for help advice and then rejects your advice, stop giving the advice because it's not worth your time. Respecting boundaries means that you also have to learn to respect them, and that can be difficult for people who overextend. Practice makes perfect, so get started now.
Not Asked? Don’t Offer
If someone doesn't ask for help, don't offer. It's not your job to fix everybody else's problems. Some people feel very imposed upon when you offer help that they didn't ask for. You can probably see exactly what needs done, but if someone doesn't want your help, they're not going to ask for it. Over time they might, and you can help them. Give them a chance to ask first, though. Find out what to do if people give advice you didn’t ask for here: What to Do with Unsolicited and Unwelcome Advice
Say No to Too Much
When you know that something is going to overwhelm you, be entirely too demanding, or just upset you, tell people no. Most especially, people who don't need help, but want you to enable them by doing things for them that they should be doing for themselves, are people who you should say no to. Even if you could help, but it would be bad for you to do it, just say no and take care of yourself.
Let Them Manage
Chances are, if you're reading this article, you have the tendency to overextend yourself, and you’re someone who other people lean on a lot. Sometimes you have to let people learn to do things for themselves. If people don't learn how to help themselves, it will make things very difficult for them. Show people what to do to help themselves, and step back and give them a chance to learn to be as capable as you are. Never underestimate a capable, determined Scorpio. Read more about that sign here: Scorpio Traits | Star Sign in the Spotlight
Focus On Yourself
It's okay to be self-centered sometimes. You have to take care of yourself. If you don't take proper care of yourself, you won't be around to help other people anymore. If you overextend yourself for other people, it's because you care, and the truth is, plenty of people don't care about anyone. We need our caring people out there making the world a better place, so take care of yourself and you can stick around and help people longer.
When your needs aren't being met because you're overwhelming yourself because of things that aren't that important, it's time to stop. Learn your limits, respect other people's boundaries, give people the benefit of the doubt that they can manage themselves, and focus on self-care. The fact that you care is very important, but not if you don't care about yourself enough not to overextend yourself.
Would you like to find out if you're overextending yourself to someone who's unappreciative? Get a reading started to find out today.
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