Telling your side of things might seem crucial so everybody understands what happened, but it isn’t always possible. It’s also not always necessary. Find out why not getting to tell your side is okay and sometimes it’s better if you don’t tell the whole story.
Something awful happened, and the whole truth isn’t out. You hold the last details, you feel like everybody needs to know, and without people believing your side, things won’t go well. Sometimes, that’s okay. It might sound impossible, but join Mysticsense to find out why it’s true. Find out if there are always two sides to every story and how to know of telling your side helps or not. Find out why it’s not always possible, and why that’s okay. Sometimes, you do all you can so your side is heard- but nobody is listening. Discover why that’s alright anyhow.
Is There Always Two Sides?
Some people say there are two sides to every story. Is that true? Yes and no. The answer is yes sometimes. It is true because we all have our own viewpoints. Maybe you saw and heard things the other person didn’t. They may be completely unaware of what you meant because they unintentionally misunderstood, or they just weren’t listening. There are things you are unaware of. The other person’s feelings and motivation may be a mystery to you.
Some people say there are three sides to every story. My side, your side, and then the truth. Some people say there are not two or three sides- but only the truth and in some situations nobody has the whole story. However, the truth is the truth, so therefore, there is only one story. They believe it’s everybody’s job to gather all the facts, and each person who has a portion of the facts helps put the whole truth together. Skeptics understand it is unwise to automatically take people’s word for things, but investigate to get the whole story. Find out the power of being a skeptic here: In Praise of Skepticism- Why Question Things?
When Telling Them Helps
It’s not always necessary, but telling your side of the story helps sometimes. It helps when you can prove what happened. That only matters when other people act accordingly, though. Sometimes, it helps a lot because it makes you feel better and there are times when that is all that matters.
You Prove the Facts
Making sure all the facts are known is very important in some situations. It can mean the difference between things falling to pieces, and everything coming together properly. It can also mean people understand who is not to be trusted, and they are forewarned that someone who mistreated you could very well mistreat them the same way. Especially when someone has wronged you, and they are trying to damage your reputation because you called them out for what they did, telling people who ask what happened proves the facts.
People Act Accordingly
Telling your side of things helps when people’s response benefits you. If you have been unfairly accused, and people listen to you when you say you are innocent, they won’t penalize you for what you were accused of. If people are missing the crucial facts that they need to make a good decision, if they listen when you fill them in on the missing facts, they will make the right choice. Sometimes it really pays to keep it real and tell the truth because people make a decision that benefits you. Learn the value of keeping it real here: What Keeping It Real Causes
You Feel Better
Having your say and feeling heard can make a big difference in how you feel about things. It can turn a horrible, disappointing situation into something you can heal from. We can’t change the past, but having the validation of telling your side of the story can be the only thing that makes you feel better. So, have your say when you can. In the very least, it won’t hurt.
When Telling Doesn’t Help
Speaking up and telling your side doesn’t always help. When people have dug their heels in, determined to believe someone else’s side, you’re wasting your breath. When people do not like you, they don’t want to hear your side, so don’t bother. Then there are times when someone just doesn’t care about your side.
People Already Believe Something
The author’s mother once told her that you need to tell your side of things first whenever you can. That’s because some people are so easily manipulated, they make up their minds about what they believe without being objective enough to get the whole story. If you are unfortunate enough that you don’t tell your side of the story before someone else has, sometimes, you may as well not bother because they already took the other person’s word for it. Not getting the would story is just another way we lie to ourselves. Learn about the dangers of self-deception here: Deceiving Lies we Tell Ourselves
They Don’t Like You
People who genuinely don’t like you usually do not care about you. They will not care if you are right, because they prefer to see you fail than to be fair. These people have the potential to ruin opportunities for you and they don’t mind talking against you to strangers. These strangers might make their mind up about you before they even give you a chance. The sad part is, you can be perfectly innocent, and multiple people will refuse to listen to your side of things- just because they dislike you on a personal level.
Someone Doesn’t Care
Some people know the truth from the start. They don’t care. They decide what they think or want to do and the whole story won’t matter to them. It can be dangerous when people like this are in charge of a situation. They have no ability to be fair. The only consolation in a situation like this is that these people would be unfair to anybody. You may be able to complain and get good results- but only if you do it right. Find some tips for doing that here: How to Make a Complaint That Gets Results
Why It Doesn’t Happen Sometimes
Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, telling your side isn’t happening. Sometimes, you have your say, but people won’t listen. Other times, they don’t believe you at all. Then, sometimes, it’s just too late.
They Won’t Listen
What is more frustrating than not being allowed to tell your side of the story? It’s more frustrating to have your say- but nobody listens to you. They might refuse to speak with you at all, which can hurt. Even worse, they might stay quiet and let you talk, but they don’t pay attention. Why do people do it? This happens because somebody has decided your view is not important, or they just don’t want to hear it. You can tell them your story all day and they just won’t listen.
They Don’t Believe You
Maybe they listened to what you had to say, and at first it gave you some hope. Unfortunately, it becomes clear they don’t believe your side of things. You know you’re telling the truth, but for some reason, they just feel the need to believe something else. You can explain yourself twenty times, and some people just won’t believe a word you say. Belief doesn’t create reality, but it creates the perceptions we function within. Sometimes, all you need is to be more persuasive, and people will believe you. Learn some tips here: Harnessing the Powers of Persuasion
It’s Too Late
Sometimes, people move on from a situation, and if you wait until then to share your perspective, it won’t help. It’s difficult sometimes to know just how soon you should say something. Sometimes, it’s best for things to calm down a little. Other times, if you wait, the situation is so far in the past, nobody listens. Is it more important to let people handle things, or make sure they get handled right with all sides of the story? Let that help you decide how soon to speak up.
Does Your View Count?
Does your view count? Does your side of the story matter? Of course it does. That's because everybody's does. Whether your side of the story will make a difference or not is another question. There are going to be times when your side of the story doesn't matter to the person you tell, so even though your feelings, opinion, and needs matter, your side of the story does not matter and the situation.
Even if someone invalidates you by discounting your view or refusing to listen to you, you still matter. Your feelings are still important, even if they're not important to someone. What you know is still valuable information even if somebody doesn't value it. Never let anyone convince you otherwise. They may reject you anyhow, but you can handle that. Find out how here: Dealing with Being Rejected
What’s The Worst That Could Happen?
Bad things can happen when nobody listens to you or believes your version of the story. You might be penalized for something you did not do. You might be lied on and lose your job unfairly. Someone might lie and ruin your reputation with your friend’s group. Someone might lie to the person you are dating, and you might get dumped. Someone might twist your words or misrepresent your actions and make you look bad when you don’t deserve it.
These things happen all the time. It may have already happened to you at some point. It's not fair. It happens to people all the time though. This is why so many people believe that it's important to share their point of view in a situation because they don't want to be treated poorly when they feel like they don't deserve it. Take comfort in the fact that chances are very slim that you could be shut out of an opportunity that is rightfully yours. The universe just seems to have a way of helping us get to where we belong. You might have to be very patient while the universe is getting you there. Learn the fine art of being patient here: Learning the Fine Art of Patience
Why It’s Ok if They Don’t Know
Even in the worst case scenario, it's ok if people don't listen. It's ok if they don't have the whole story. It's ok if they don't have your point of view. It might not feel like it at the time, but things happen for a reason. Sometimes you belong somewhere else. And your side of the story will be valued there. Sometimes. It doesn't matter if people have your point of view because they are not your people and they don't matter in your life at all. Sometimes it's ok if no one is listening because these people are just naturally unfair people and eventually it's going to catch up with them.
Things Happen for a Reason
There is no way to prove that the universe is moving things around. Sometimes things fall to pieces and you have falling outs with people through no fault of your own, because the universe is trying to put you someplace else. Sometimes you have been dealing with negative and unfair people who are unreasonable and don't care about your point of view. Sometimes a manipulative individual has everyone convinced of something and they have created a toxic atmosphere that you're better off being out of. Have faith when things fall to pieces because people won't listen to you that better things are waiting for you. When people act that way, you need to care less about their behavior. Find out how here: I Couldn’t Care Less - When Caring Too Much Hurts
You Belong Elsewhere
One of the most common things to happen when no one is listening to your side of the story is that you are in the wrong place. You might be working in the wrong job, or it might be the entire job field that's wrong for you. You might be involved with a toxic group that's taking advantage of you instead of valuing you as a human being. When your feelings, view, and needs don't matter, you do not belong in the place where you are, be it situation or a relationship. Never shortchange yourself and stay in the wrong place.
They Are Not Your People
Part of the reason why some situations are wrong for us is because the people there are the wrong people for us. When people show you that they don't care about you, believe them the first time. People who don't care about you don't deserve your presence, so go where you belong instead. Find some tips to discover where you truly belong here: Connecting to Where You Belong
Unfair People Pay
Eventually, being an unfair person who doesn’t listen is going to catch up with people. You might not get to witness that, but believe me, it happens. You might feel like you've been pushed out or treated unfairly by people who have an advantage over you just because they're not listening, but one day that habit is going to get them in trouble. They are going to ignore the wrong person and it's not going to end well for them. So, instead of being upset that they're not listening, pledge that you will not be like them.
There's only one side to every story, and that is the full truth. Everyone involved has a view, and sharing your view of what happened helps deliver the whole story. It's ok if people don’t listen to your side of the story, because they aren’t your people. They are being used by the universe to show you that you are in the wrong place. Move forward to where you belong and don't worry. Your people will listen to you. Always.
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