The holidays are supposed to be happy times, but sometimes they make you pull your hair out. Find out what causes holiday stress and blues, and how to overcome it.
The winter holidays are coming. With them come endless to-do lists, endless holiday gatherings, tons of things to buy, cook, and decorate before a big day or week. Some people wait all year round to enjoy all these things. Other people dread it. Join Mysticsense to find out what to do when holiday stress strikes. Find out what holidays are supposed to be, and why they can be so stressful. Did you know some people get the blues or have medical issues around the holidays due to times of year? Find out what to do about that and five simple steps to combat holiday stress. Holidays are supposed to be fun- for everyone. If they are making you miserable, you came to the right place. Find out how to make the holidays merry- for you too!
What Are Holidays Supposed to Be?
“It’s the most wonderful time of the year.”- Edward Pola and George Wyle
Holidays are supposed to be meaningful, fun, and they are supposed to bring people together. They celebrate special things, and people like to celebrate together. There are holidays all year round, and depending on your culture, you may celebrate literally anything. Plenty of holidays have religious significance attached to them like Diwali, Hanukkah, Easter, or Imbolc. Things like Independence days, Veteran’s celebrations and Memorial celebrations are secular, though, but are just as meaningful as religious holidays.
Winter holidays in general tend to be extra special. Because they are so meaningful, a lot of people want them to be perfect. They spend the maximum amount of money to make things perfect. They take time off work and travel to be at events and with people, and with all this come expectations and a lot of stress. Holiday stress can make quite the holidays unbearable for some people. Some people expect too much from other people for the holidays, but other people do too much themselves. Find out why that is a bad idea here: The Case Against the Desire to Overdo It
Why are Holidays Stressful?
“Just once I’d like to be a kid again at Christmastime and have all of the fun with none of the stress.”- Jim Hunt
Holidays are stressful because we make them stressful. A holiday takes place on a day that could be a day like any other if we did not decide it was a holiday. Unnecessary things make holidays stressful. People and the ways they behave also make holidays stressful. Travel can be a major source of holiday stress too.
Things
Things make life fun sometimes, and they make holidays more festive. Sometimes, things take too much emphasis away from time with people, though. We spend so much money we go into debt. We place demands on the people who love us- telling them they owe us the PERFECT holiday experience through gifts we want. We tell ourselves the same thing, doing unnecessary things to prove our love for people. People exhaust themselves doing a lot of things for holidays, and exhaust the people they do things with. Overdoing decorations, attending events, going to a record amount of worship services, and cooking ourselves into exhaustion for holiday dinners make holidays stressful too. Food can be meaningful though. Learn the spiritual meaning of fruits in dreams here: Fruit Meanings in Dreams | A Spiritual Guide
People
We sometimes find ourselves in the company of people we would rather not be around during holidays. Political and religious arguments rule dinner table talk in some holiday gatherings, and some family members use the opportunity to cut down people they disapprove of. Someone seems to always complain that they didn’t get the gift they wanted, get to attend an event they wanted, or did not get to eat what they wanted for the holiday. Then there are the people who complain about what someone else said, did, ate, wore, or the gift they gave someone else. It can all create relationship exhaustion, but there is hope. Find out why here: Help for Emotional Fatigue in Relationships
Travel
We all work important jobs, and everybody wants time off for holidays. A lot of people don’t just stay home during holidays , though. They travel to visit family. They may leave the state, town, or village where they live, and some people travel out of the country. It can be expensive and exhausting, especially if you have to travel before you’re normally awake or past your bedtime. You may travel to different time zones and jet lag is real. Even if you don’t travel far to visit for the holidays, if you just have one day off, your day is completely used up by the visits. Exhausting travel for holidays can make you happy to go back to work! You may be focused on advancing in your career. Find out how Tarot readings can help here: Tarot Readings for Life Management & Careers
The Holiday Blues
“ Christmas is a holiday that persecutes the lonely, the frayed, and the rejected.”- Jimmy Cannon
A lot of people get sad during the holidays. Sometimes, remembering holidays past reminds us of things and people we have lost. A lot of parents of adult children are sad around the holidays because they miss how fun their kids made the holidays when they were young. Single people or people estranged from families can feel especially lonely during holidays. Some people dread the holidays because their loved ones make them unbearable. Other people have a hard time during holidays because they can’t afford to buy all the things, attend all the events, or do all the things more money would allow for the holidays.
Other people have a serious medical problem that moods and emotions don’t cause. Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD is triggered by weather patterns. It usually hits people in the colder months due to lack of sunlight, but some people struggle in warmer months due to the heat and say their SAD happens then. Fatigue, sadness, lack of interest in doing things, weight gain, and increased appetite are all symptoms of SAD. During the holidays, people with SAD may be too emotionally distressed to want to participate and dread holidays because people insist they join in. Some people swear by crystals for all forms of healing. Read more here: Crystals for Manifesting Healing
Treating Holiday Blues
“ Happiness depends upon ourselves.”- Aristotle
If your holiday blues are in the wintertime due to SAD, doctors recommend bundling up and getting outdoors even though it’s cold. As little as 20 minutes of sunlight exposure a day may help, but other people swear by being outdoors about a half an hour three times weekly. Some people report success with taking vitamin supplements, and others report success from light box therapy. Other people take prescription medication they say helps. Talk to your doctor to decide what works best for you.
Holiday blues due to non-medical reasons can be treated by whatever makes you happy. Sorrow from isolation during holidays can be treated by going somewhere. Sadness because your kids aren’t little anymore can be treated by buying gifts for children who would likely not get gifts, or volunteering for kid’s themed events. Sadness because you can’t travel to see family for the holidays can be treated by visiting animal shelters, or nursing homes to bring love and companionship to pets and people who are alone. Need healing? Read our guide to prayers and spells for healing here: Your Spell and Prayer for Healing Guide
Combating Holiday Stress
“ My favorite childhood memory is my parents paying for my holidays.”- thewanderlustwithin.com
Holiday stress can make you miserable, and hit so hard you just don’t want to celebrate any holidays ever again. You don’t have to feel that way, though. There are five simple things you can do to keep the holidays from making you miserable and bogged down with stress. First, learn the power of simply saying “no” to things. Then, simplify! Remember what is really important, foregoing what is not. Don’t let anybody drag you into problems, and do holidays your way. If you do these things, you will take back enjoyment of the holidays and ditch the stress involved.
Learn to Say No
A big part of the reason why we're stressed during holidays is that we try to do too much. We also say yes to too much. When three different relatives expect you to visit their house on the same day, just say you don't have time. When your kids ask you to spend too much money on presents, tell them no. When relatives try to force you to go off your diet to accommodate them, just don't do it. When you try to push yourself too far, don't let it happen. People can nag, whine, beg, and even shout. However, there are things that they can't force you to do. No, as a complete sentence, and a very important one for combating holiday stress. Saying no sets important boundaries. Learn how here: Setting Boundaries in Your Life and Relationships
Simplify Things
Do you really need to decorate every room in the house for a holiday? Do you have to buy a gift for everyone who works with you in your office? Is it entirely necessary to serve eight sides with the main dish at the holiday meal? Is it crucial that you use good dishes and silverware instead of paper plates and disposable forks? Sending gift cards instead of buying presents for everyone, reducing the amount of items you have on your menu, and only giving gifts to the people who you're closest to will help you to be less stressed and focus more on spending time with the people you love instead of doing things that aren't necessary.
Remember What’s Important
Holidays come and go. One day you will be thinking of preparation for the holiday and the next day the holiday will be gone. What's really important? For some people, the most important thing is spending quality time with the people who they love. For other people, creating memories during the holidays is most important. For still other people, holidays are a time of rest and a break from hard work. If you focus on what's most important, other things that cause stress won't matter as much. One thing that is important is living in the moment. Learn more here: Live in the Moment- Be Consciously Here
Refuse to Engage
Not everybody has toxic family members or friends who attend holiday gatherings. A lot of people do. Don't get drawn into arguments that they want to have. Some people are especially good at pushing people's emotional buttons and inflaming tempers. If you know that people will be at your holiday gathering who insist on behaving this way, either avoid them or simply ignore them. If you don't give them the attention that they want, they will stop bothering you at some point. For the holidays, give annoying people the gift of keeping their annoying ways to themselves!
Do Holidays YOUR Way
One thing that a lot of people do for the holidays is celebrate the holidays on their own terms. We all grew up with family holiday traditions, and those traditions started at some point. You don't have to continue those if you don't want to. Maybe it's time to start some holiday traditions that are your own. Instead of a big dinner in the middle of the day, have a brunch. Instead of buying gifts for everyone, have each person draw a name and only buy one gift for the holidays. Instead of sticking with the same menu that everybody says they're tired of, cook something else for a change. Holidays are meant for enjoyment, so celebrate the holidays your way. No matter how you celebrate, make sure to practice self-care- with a touch of magic. Find out how here! Magical Care for Self in Stressful Times
A Last Word
The Author speaks from experience in this article. Holidays, especially the holiday season in America that includes Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s Eve and Day used to be highly stressful for her. Outrageous demands from toxic family members combined with a career in events and party planning in the healthcare industry had her running around like a chicken with its head cut off from November 1 through mid-January. There was never enough time or resources to please everyone, and too much work fell on the author. A career change helped immensely, but she had to learn to put her foot down with family- which she did early on.
She discovered that the holidays are supposed to be enjoyable, meaningful, and memorable for all the right reasons. Doing too much, and allowing people and things to get out of hand will compromise the ability to enjoy holidays. The five steps she shared of saying no, simplifying, focusing on what is truly important, refusing to be drawn into drama, and doing holidays on your own terms is a formula for success everyone can use. Don’t take her word for it. She doesn’t want you to be stressed by holidays like she used to be. Try these simple steps for yourself. You deserve to enjoy the holidays too- stress free!
The holidays can be stressful, they can be exhausting, and they can be so bad we don't want to celebrate them anymore. Toxic friends and family members can make gatherings unbearable, and some people are selfish with your time and make demands that you buy things that you really can't afford. We all want to make the people who we love happy and have peaceful holiday gatherings, but when the holidays become unbearable, it's time to take back your holidays. Learn to say no, simplify, focus on what's truly important, don't let anybody engage you in any conflicts, and celebrate the holidays on your own terms. May you have the happiest holidays- your way.
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