Why do men Withdraw?

TL;DR

How to tell by his Sun Sign if the man you love is pulling away from the relationship.

First you meet a man who sweeps you right off your feet. You get to know each other, spend a lot of time together, and become a big part of each other’s lives. As time goes on, you realize he’s the person you can’t imagine ever being without. You are happy, maybe even happier than you’ve ever been, and you think he’s THE ONE. Just when you are watching to see if he pops the question- he suddenly stops calling often, and maybe he doesn’t call at all. When you call him, he’s busy, and doesn’t get back with you. Whereas it seemed like he couldn’t get enough of you before, all of the sudden, he acts like he doesn’t want to be around you at all. You finally come to the ugly realization, that he’s decided your relationship is finished.

You didn’t see it coming- or did you? Were there little red flags you brushed aside, saying maybe he was tired, or busy? The longer you think about it, the more you realize, he was slowly pulling away from you, and you just ignored it.

Or maybe not. Maybe you are like so many others who have a fear of being abandoned and there isn’t actually anything wrong- your man just had some tight deadlines at work. Everything is actually fine, you were just worrying yourself over nothing. What a relief! But how can you tell which way it is? How do you know if this sudden absence is him dumping you, or if it’s just a temporary thing?

Do guys withdraw when they fall in love?

Not if they want to maintain the relationship, they don’t. If he loves you, wants you in his life, and is committed to that, he’s not going to drop in and out of the life you share together. He will stick around. If he doesn’t care about a long term relationship with you, he won’t necessarily just disappear altogether. He might like you around when he’s bored, or can’t find somebody else to spend time with, but won’t have anything to do with you otherwise. That’s not a healthy relationship. Relationships are about sharing life with the people we care about and we can’t do that if they aren’t around- and we certainly cannot do that with people who don’t care about us!

One way to tell over time if a man is dumping you is to just come right out and ask him. Then again, if this is a toxic individual who just wants to use you, he might not be honest. This is where understanding of the zodiac can come in helpful. While each of us are individuals despite what our horoscope sign is, knowing what his sign is helps you understand just how he ticks, what his natural tendencies are, and just what he is trying to communicate if he does withdraw.

Before analyzing him based on his sign, ask yourself some questions.

1. Do I have more time on my hands than he does? Is he working his tail off at a high-pressure job, but he spends every minute with you that he can although it’s not as much time as you prefer? Be fair with expectations with his time. And if he literally has no excuse to not spend time with you- chances are he just doesn’t want to. If he has places he cannot get out of being, cut him some slack.

2. How long have you been seeing one another? If it’s been four months and you expect lifelong commitment, the guy might be trying to get you to slow down. Give the relationship a chance, and just relax and enjoy it. You are not on any deadline to marry somebody yesterday. Give the guy time.

3. As mentioned above- abandonment issues can cloud your judgement. Having them is a sign somebody hurt you very badly. It’s not your fault, but it’s also not your man’s fault, and he cannot heal what’s happened to you.

4. Who else needs him besides you? Does he have a large, extended family he’s always spent a lot of time with, and he simply cannot cut them all out to spend every waking moment with you? Why should he? Is he a single dad and can’t do every Friday and Saturday night date night with you? Why would you ask him to? Coming into a man’s life entails you get the perk of having relationships with all the good people who loved him before you did. It does not mean you replace them.

None of these scenarios fit, and you could not get a satisfying answer out of him? Let’s examine his sign.

Aries

Aries men are very passionate, and not just in bed. They feel very deeply, and that includes happy feelings as well as hurt feelings. When he’s in love, he does all he can to make relationships work, and that includes fixing things if there are issues, When he’s decided the relationship is over, he doesn’t care anymore, and he stops trying. He may say insensitive things, or stay out with friends at all hours. When an Aries man is done with you, you will know it.

Taurus

How to know when a Taurus man is done with you is tricky. Taurus is one of the last signs to call it quits. Normally, you have to dump your Taurus, but that’s only if he’s committed to a relationship with you. If you barely know a Taurus man and he just doesn’t get together anymore, he’s most likely communicating he’s not interested in a permanent relationship.

Gemini

When a Gemini is done with you, their anxiety will show. They love the stability of relationships, even ones they don’t want anymore, and the thought of breaking up will upset him. You might catch him flirting with others, and you might even catch him in lies. He will spend less and less time with you and make excuses as to why he does not want to get together. Give him his space, and calm him anxiety about breaking things off. You may be able to salvage the relationship, but if you can’t, listen fairly to him, and step away.

Cancer

When a Cancer man is done with you, the romance will go out the window, and he won’t spend every second possible with you anymore. He will make more biting remarks, and there may be a lot of tears. Already a moody sign, his mood swings will be much worse than normal, and he won’t want to stay over or have you sleep over at his place anymore. If you live together, he may couch surf with friends. If it gets to this point, insist he talk it out with you, because some Cancers can be in this mode for months.

Leo

Perhaps the most loyal of signs, Leo will have gone out of their way for as long as possible to avert a breakup. When they decide they love you, get ready to be the center of their Universe. But when a Leo man is done with you, everybody you both know is going to hear about it, and you can be sure he’s going to say it way all your fault. Truthfully, maybe it was. He is the King of the Zodiac, but made YOU the King or Queen of his world, and Leos don’t do that for just anybody. Leo will let you know it is your loss, and they ensure you know will move along to somebody who appreciates them better.

Virgo

When a Virgo man is done with you, you will be THE first to know, and there are no two ways about it. He’s done, and nothing you do will change his mind. Do yourself a favor and just leave.

 Libra

Librans, known for their charm, tact, and love of being in love are also good at keeping things to themselves when they want to. They may be pulling away because you did something that upset them, and they are deciding whether they think it’s worth staying together. You will be the last one to find out they want to break up though, and they will have weighed the pros and cons of staying with you before they announce they are dumping you. They’re not completely heartless, though- you may be able to hold on to the relationship after all. It’s worth a try, just respect their boundaries if they do say no after you try again.

Scorpio

A Scorpio man withdraws to avoid a fight, because they don’t want to deal with it emotionally. As sensitive as Aries, but as devoted as Leo, when finally, a Scorpio man is done with you- not withdrawing to avoid a fight- you may find yourself with one major fight on your hands. But he can be passive aggressive, and instead of raising cain with you if that got him nowhere, he’s going to tell everybody you both know all the horrible things he thinks you did to him. Don’t like the behavior? Ignore him. He will go crazy trying to get to you when he knows he can’t.

Sagittarius

Sagittarians are so spontaneous, they may not especially want to terminate the relationship, but they just ran off with a group of friends, and forgot you were there. In all fairness, Sagittarians are brutally honest and will be the sign most likely to tell you they don’t want a relationship anymore. They won’t necessarily withdraw, though. They are just off having a great time living their life, and they might just call you from Vegas and ask you to join them.

Capricorn

When a Capricorn man is done with you, he’s very likely to tell you so. He probably tried some heart to heart talks, aka tried to get you to change, and do everything his way, but you just wouldn’t. It’s his way or the highway, and you may be so tired of being bossed around, you put your walking boots on, and enjoy the way out. Whatever happens, do NOT cause a scene in public if you have any desire to even maintain a friendship with your Capricorn man. They are very private people and cannot stand having their personal business showcased to strangers.

Aquarius

Aquarians love time with the people they love. When they are done, they have no time for you at all anymore. If they were lovers with you, the sex will go out the window. They will stay busy with work or friends, and they can’t be bothered to hash it out because they don’t like the emotional upheaval it sometimes brings. They want peace, and their way of stepping away without a big fight is to just lie and say they are just entirely too busy.

Pisces

When Pisces withdraws it could simply be because they need their ‘me” time. Pisces needs to go within for peace and solitude, and if your Pisces does this and it bothers you, simply open up to them and ask what’s going on. He may not have even realized you thought you HAD a relationship with him…he thought it was more casual! When a Pisces man is done with you, that’s okay, because you will probably get more attention from the next guy you date.

In all fairness

Men are human, and they have the right to say no to a relationship, just like women do. Yes, even if they said “I love you” before. Yes, even if they are supposedly committed. Yes, even if nobody did anything wrong, and we still love them. Yes, even if it breaks our hearts they don’t want to be in a relationship with us anymore.

No means no, and men who truly withdraw from a relationship are sometimes simply communicating that no, they don’t want the relationship. That’s okay, because somebody else absolutely will! Never try to force a man to stay in a relationship with you if he doesn’t want to.

Do NOT change to try and keep his interest, and don’t assume that if you were more or less blonde, more or less fit, richer, etc. he would want to stay. The fact is, he doesn’t.

Let him go. If he’s truly yours, he won’t leave you, and if he’s not yours, you give him the freedom to go where his heart belongs.