What do you do when you find yourself not happy being single, especially when the one you want doesn’t want you?
Many turn to love spells to bring the one they desire to them. Any book shop that has a metaphysical section will have multiple volumes by many different authors sharing potions, aphrodisiacs, and charms designed to make that one special somebody all yours. One can be led to believe that all one must do is recite some measured words, use some store-bought crystals, oils, incenses, herbs, and the heart, mind, and soul of whomever they desire will be theirs for eternity.
Before you embrace this as your plan of action, rushing out to drop hard earned money on spell books and supplies, there is a lot to keep in mind.
What is it that has kept you two apart? Is your intended taken, and already in a happy relationship? Are they unavailable simply because they like being single? Are they specifically not interested in you, perchance? It can be painful and difficult to accept that the one we love does not return the love, or that a future with them is simply not going to happen.
Complicating matters are some of the things we are taught about love. Romance movies, novels, and TV shows construct elaborately dramatic fictional themes about star crossed lovers who the cold, cruel world either keeps apart, or who are too embarrassed to admit that they are in love. Besides being good for entertainment, these can create an unrealistic expectation in the hearts and minds of lonesome viewers and readers.
Sometimes, we are taught that love must hurt, and we must hold a lifelong devotion to somebody, regardless of whether they reciprocate those feelings. We are taught that love is selfless, and we are to be givers, never expecting anything in return. We are told that all love, regardless of the nature of it, is forever, and if we love somebody, we must be with them for all our days no matter what.
These are myths that create pain, disappointment, and make us focus on all the wrong things.
Rest assured if somebody really wants to be in a relationship, they will find a way to make it happen. No cruel god or force keeps true lovers from being together. You need not use the powers of magic to unlock what is meant to be. True love is not a conquest, or a struggle to bring it about. Devotion, although admirable, when directed towards the wrong person, is pointless for the individual carrying that torch, and can be annoying and feel like an invasion to the person who does not feel love in return.
So, what can you do?
Never give up on love, itself. Just step aside from seeking validation from people who are not willing to enter into a relationship with you. You need not give up your search for love, and you absolutely can use magic to find it!
If you have a deep love for somebody who doesn’t likewise love you, and you are finding it difficult, or even impossible to move on, your local metaphysical shop, or online dealer can help, and it doesn’t cost much money. A simple candle or oil called “forget him” if you love a man you need to move on, or “forget her” if you need to move on for your feelings for a woman will help. No special words or work need done unless you would like to. The candle comes with a prayer written on it. This is often a seven-day candle, designed to be burned for a period of time, sometimes lasting up to a week. If this candle will be left to burn until it’s all gone, ensure you do so in a safe spot where no flame can reach anything to start a fire. The candle need not be burned all at once, and can be burned for a time, and extinguished, and re-lit later. For the oil, simply put a dab on yourself, perhaps at your wrist like you would perfume, or anoint a plain white candle with it, and light it, telling yourself you will forget these feelings, forget said individual, and pick up the pieces of your broken heart, and life and move forward into tomorrow. This can be done as many times as are needed. Part of this working is to train your mind to focus on moving on. This spell work is designed not to change somebody else, but to help transform you.
Another working that can be done is a visualization exercise aimed to “break the heartstrings” that connect you. Close your eyes, and visualize a single, silver strand, like fine spider’s silk, that connects your heart to the person’s who does not love you in return. Feel the strength of that feeling that binds you to them. Take a moment to honor that love and stand still with it. Then, take a deep breath, and with your hand, quickly snap the strand. Cast it away from you and walk away, visualizing it dissolving into nothingness. A similar working visualizes the love as not a strand, but roots, like those of a tree, deep within your heart. You can visualize gently pulling the roots from your heart and laying them aside. Note, in each working, the feeling is seen as something that does not belong within yourself, that is removed, leaving you whole.
You can give offering to the divine to help guide you to love. One deity who is open to help is the Norse goddess, Freyja. Get some form of amber, be it the incense or the stone, as offering to Freyja. It can be cast in a field, buried into the ground, or even burned in fire. Ask Freyja to help you find your love and ask her for signs that help you identify them when you meet them. Have faith in her and yourself that it will be done.
Other magic that can be worked that requires no instructional spell books or supplies is reaching out to those who are more alone than you. Giving your time and love to somebody who is alone, will open you to love itself. This is its own form of magic. There are unlimited ways to do this. Be a Big Brother or Big Sister to a child you sponsor, adopt an animal, or work some hours at a pet shelter. Join a group that supports a cause you are passionate about and be the change you want to see. Touch the earth to clean litter, or plant things that enrich nature. You can be a pen pal to troops stationed far from home. You can volunteer to visit residents at nursing homes, or even teach a class at your local community center. There is no limit to all the wonderful ways you can reach out and give love to somebody who needs it.
Most of all, commit to love magic for yourself. If you have considered doing spell work to make somebody love you who doesn’t, it’s time to examine your relationship with yourself. Understand that you are deserving of love, and capable of it. If somebody does not want a relationship with you, know that it is their loss, and there are plenty of other people who deserve to be in your life and who will be. If you find yourself without many people to spend time with, do the most loving thing you can for yourself. Get out, enjoying the things you love. Take a class, join a club, engage in a hobby. Just get out and enjoy life doing the things you love doing. It might take a bit of time, but like-minded individuals will come to you, spend time with you, and before you know it, your time, and life will be full of love and great experiences with wonderful people you deserve to share life with.
You are never alone, or without ways to reach out to give and receive love. You need never do love spells to make any one individual love you. Be the love and accept all the love that the Universe has for you.
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