It seems like people are offended everyday- but what’s the big deal? Find out why we become offended, and what it takes to offend- or avoid offending people.
It seems like everywhere you go, either someone is offended or someone is offending you. Offensiveness seems like something that can't be avoided, but can it? Join Mysticsense to explore the ins and outs of offensiveness. Find out exactly what it means to be offended and why people become offended to begin with. Find out what specifically offends people and easy ways you can- even accidentally- be offensive. Then, find out how to avoid that and what to do if somebody offends you. Being offended isn’t something we all look forward to and a lot of people don’t want to offend anybody. Find out all about it here.
What is Being Offended?
Dictionary.com defines offended as “Feeling or expressing hurt, indignation, or irritation because of a perceived wrong or insult.” People can be offended by anything. Some people are offended by the way that other people dress. Other people are offended by the way some people smell. Some people find what other people eat offensive. Other people are offended by how loud you speak, how quietly you speak, or by what you say. People can be offended if you stand too close to them or if you refuse to hug them when they want you to. Some people find profanity offensive, while others find outspokenness highly offensive.
Pew Research Center has an interesting article about the statistics of being offended, specifically in America. 62% of people polled said that being too easily offended by what people say is a major issue. You would think that would be the extent of it, but it’s not. Americans can’t seem to agree whether being offended or being offensive is a bigger problem. About 32% of respondents said taking offense too easily is a major problem and the same amount said that saying offensive things is a major problem. So maybe it’s fair to say a lot of people find other people’s level of BEING offended, well…offensive! Read more from Pew here: Views of offensive speech and people being easily offended differ | Pew Research Center
Why We Become Offended
Everybody gets offended sometimes, even if we don't mean to. Why does that happen? It's just a part of being human. It has to do with our emotions, our past experiences, and perceived offences. If we feel like something that someone does is harmful, hurtful, or just flat out rude, it's only natural to be upset. What about when someone didn't mean to be offensive? Sometimes that's more offensive. Simply because their behavior is perceived as so wrong, how could they not know? First off, their behavior was so wrong, secondly, they're completely insensitive to the fact that what they have affected someone else so deeply.
We become offended because we have feelings. If someone who knows us should have known better to do something, but they did it anyway, that's highly upsetting and offensive to us. What about strangers who don't know us or what our preferences are? Sometimes strangers can be just as offensive, even if they don't mean to be. The biggest reason besides our emotions that we become offended is because we are all so different from one another, and it's impossible for us all to be just alike. Some people think that diversity makes us beautiful, but other people find it upsetting and they become extremely uncomfortable. It's hard to understand why someone would be so different from us sometimes, and we just get offended. Nice guys are probably the least offensive people you can find. Read why nice guys finish first here: Why Good Guys Make You Feel Better Than Bad Boys
Easy Ways to be Offensive
Being offensive might be something some people avoid, but it’s something other people can’t seem to help. There are some surefire ways to impress some people with your boldness or authenticity- and it seems like these are things that offend other people. Say what you mean and don’t act scared to disagree. Look however you want, refusing peer pressure, and say no to things sometimes. Misunderstand someone and be proud of who you are. Most of all, stand by what you say, do, and believe if you want to offend some people.
Say What You Mean
Everybody loves to talk, but not everybody wants to hear what other people have to say. The stronger you state things, the more upset some people will get. Now, if they are agreeing with what you say, chances are they'll cheer you on, but the minute you say one thing people don't agree with, they will want you to be silenced. Speak up and have your voice heard anyways and someone is bound to be offended. The best way to avoid hearing what other people have to say is to say nothing yourself. Because the minute you say something strongly, people are going to respond. Words have power. Find out why here: Magical Words: The Amazing Power of Words
Disagree
Disagree with something that someone says, does, or claims to believe, and they're going to get offended. A lot of people say that it's important to hear from people who are different from us and think differently than we do, but a lot of people become very uncomfortable by this. Some people feel that they are being personally challenged if someone thinks differently than they do. Some people will take it that their entire character or way of life is being questioned or invalidated if someone disagrees with them.
Look How You Want
Personal dress style is very important to some people. Other people want to blend in so they don't stand out too much. The way that we do our hair and clothing helps to establish our social status in society and our place within our own group. If you dress in ways that other people disapprove of, it can confuse them about who you are and what you stand for. If someone feels that you're more attractive then they feel like you deserve to be they will become highly offended. If someone feels that your clothing or hairstyle is somehow inappropriate, or if they just don't like the way that it looks, they will find you highly offensive. One Zodiac Sign with a powerful personal style is Libra and you can read more about them here: Libra Traits | Star Sign in the Spotlight
Refuse Something
People will try to get you to do things every minute of every day. The minute you say no, someone is going to be upset. They might say that you are uncooperative or unfair and unreasonable. They might say you're giving them a hard time and making their life more difficult. If you make your own decision to not participate in something that somebody else expects you to, they're going to be highly offended by that. Sometimes, even if it is unreasonable for someone to ask you to do something, if you flat out say no, they're going to be offended anyway because you haven't given in to what they want.
Misunderstand
Misunderstandings seem to offend everybody, but it's unavoidable sometimes. People like to say that they are only responsible for what they say, they believe they're not responsible for making themselves understood. If you don't automatically understand something the way somebody wants you to, instead of trying to explain it a different way, they're likely to just get upset. Misunderstandings can cause emotional exhaustion in relationships. Find out what to do about it here: Help for Emotional Fatigue in Relationships
Flaunt Your Personality
Confidence can be highly offensive to people who struggle with self-esteem. If you are proud of who you are, someone who isn't will be highly offended by you. It will make them feel inadequate, and instead of working on improving themselves, they will resent you for being so awesome. Some people are taught that no one should be too pleased with themselves but should hide who they are. Anyone who doesn't do that can be viewed as highly upsetting and offensive.
Stand By Your Beliefs
Everybody holds strong beliefs. A lot of people don't think that people whose beliefs are different from theirs have a right to hold those beliefs. Stand by your beliefs when someone is trying to make you believe something different and they're going to be very upset with you. Instead of accepting that we can all hold different beliefs and still get along, some people feel that it is their job to force everyone to believe everything exactly the way that they do. Refusing to bow to this can be seen as highly offensive by some people. One Zodiac sign that stands by their beliefs is Aries and you can read more about them here: Aries Traits | Star Sign in The Spotlight
How To Avoid Offending People
Some people are horrified by the idea of being offensive and they want to go out of their way to avoid it. Don't worry, there are simple ways to avoid being offensive. Empathize and try to understand other people's feelings, but if you can't, just ask them how they feel about something. Say less, meaning keep things that might upset people to yourself. Instead of creating disharmony or conflict, harmonize and get along with people. If you know that you don't belong somewhere, just don't go.
Empathize
Empathy means feeling other people's feelings. This typically happens while someone is experiencing the feelings, but you can do something else to avoid being offensive. You can think about how what you are wanting to say or do might affect someone else. If something would upset you, it might upset someone else. When in doubt, the Golden Rule of “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” can help. Read more about the Golden Rule here: Are Golden Rule Truths Universal Teachings?
Ask
Sometimes, you can try to figure out if something would offend someone or not, but you just don't know. Initiate a conversation about it and find out. “ Is my music bothering you”, or “ Do perfumes bother you” , are simple questions you can ask to find out what bothers people. If you think something may have offended someone, ask them if it did. The fact that you were thoughtful enough to ask might make them feel so good they forget to be offended.
Say Less
If you know that saying something is going to upset someone, don't say it. For some people, it's more important to have their say or speak their minds, but for other people, it's more important to keep the peace. You can't take something back once it's been said, but you can avoid the damage that hurtful words can cause by not saying something. One Zodiac sign that might choose to say something they know offends you is Sagittarius, and you can learn more about them here: Sagittarius | Traits Star Sign in the Spotlight
Harmonize
Harmonizing with people is an easy way to avoid offending them. Dressing the way everyone else in the office dresses makes you blend in and makes people feel comfortable and feel like you belong. Planting the same type of flowers in your garden that everyone else in your neighborhood does will make them feel like you belong. Not going against the way that things already are will make people feel comfortable and what you around more.
Avoid Where You Don’t Fit
Each of us belongs somewhere. There are places where each of us also don't belong. If you know that your very presence upsets people and it doesn't benefit you to go there, just don't go. You shouldn't have to compromise who you are and lie about it so that other people will be comfortable. You are perfect and whole exactly the way that you are, and people who don't understand that really don't deserve to be blessed with your presence anyways . So you don't have to be around them. Besides, plenty of people love you and want you around. Here is how to tell who loves you: What Are the Symbols of Love?
What to Do if You’re Offended
If someone offends you, and you get extremely upset, you have just given them full control of your emotions. If they are aware of this, they have an advantage over you and can use it as a weapon in the future. The best thing to do is to gain full control of your emotions when you're offended about something, and not fall to pieces. Think about specifically what happened and why it upset you, but don't let it rule your life. If the relationship with the person who offended you matters, have a conversation with them so they understand. If it's a stranger, you might be better off just moving along and going about your day. Some people just do things and it has nothing to do with you, even if you find what they did offensive.
A Last Word
Most people won’t go out of their way to deliberately be offensive. Some people can’t help being offensive because some people love to be offended. Being offended might happen accidentally, and being offensive might be something you didn’t mean. The problem is that everywhere you look, something could offend you, and everywhere you go, someone could find something you do offensive. If someone can’t directly affect you, don’t worry about it. There are far more important things in life than being offended or being found offensive.
People get offended everyday by simple things like someone disagreeing with them or being more attractive than they feel they are. Just remember that sometimes, you can’t help but offend someone, but other times you can keep things to yourself or just avoid people to keep from being offensive. After all, if the worst thing you encounter is an offensive odor or someone disagrees on a trivial point, you’re having a great day.
Has something caused offense and you want to know how to fix it? Reach out for a reading to find out how today!
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