Some girls say bad boys make them feel good- but they don’t. Find out why it’s always good to love a nice guy instead of a bad boy and why nice guys finish first, not last.
“Nice guys finish last” and “Bad boys make you feel SO good” are quotes frustrated singles share when they are bemoaning the fact they can’t lock down a relationship. Nice men think women hate them for not being unkind, and some women love men who are unkind. Somehow, these people set each other off even though they have nothing in common and absolutely no chemistry together. So what’s going on? Are nice guys fated to die single, and “finish last” and women fated to chase bad boys for eternity? Join Mysticsense to find out why that doesn’t happen, and why it’s always best to date a nice guy.
What’s a Nice Guy?
Nice guys are the men who are polite, caring, and they remind us that chivalry is not dead. They are emotionally stable, and not only do they care about how they make people feel, they even take care of people. They are considered boring by some people because they are so predictable. They question themselves, and can be shy or lacking in confidence sometimes.
Emotionally Stable
Nice guys tend to have a lot of emotional stability. They don't yell like bad boys when they get upset, and they don't expect other people to be responsible for their emotions. They act like adults and they do not have the problem of toxic masculinity. They might be quiet and they may be shy, but they're not going to act like a jerk because you tell them no. They won’t have emotional eruptions. Because emotionally stable people are thought of as boring by people who like bad boys. They might seem dull to some people, but they try to be courteous about their emotions, which is better. Are you able to express emotions? Find out what happens if you can’t here: Inability to Express Emotions Can Cripple Us
They are Polite
Nice guys understand that courtesy and manners are important. They have enough self respect and respect of other people to be polite. Polite people don't want to impose on anyone else because they understand what it feels like to be emotionally imposed upon. They will be honest with people, but they won't be mean. They hold the door for strangers, keep their voice quiet enough indoors, and praise people when they deserve it. They are also not disrespectful of women, demanding sex like a lot of bad boys do. They won't ask for your phone number unless they want it, and if they take your phone number they will call you. What could be better?
They Take Care of People
Part of being a nice guy means that you care about other people's feelings. You care how what you say and do makes other people feel. You also care about other people's well-being. Some people say men are terrible caretakers, but nice guys know that's not true. Some of the best caretakers in the world are men. Nice guys take care of their children, their family, their friends, their community, and their work family. They take great pride in being providers, family members, parents, and helpful people in their community. They understand that we are all interconnected and they want to play their part. If they love you, they will take care of you if you need it too. Read about the interconnectedness between people here: Our Connections - How We Are All Interconnected
They Are Predictable
Some people think nice guys are boring because they're predictable. After you get to know them, you know what to expect from them because you know you can trust them. That is probably the least boring thing in the world. Trust and predictability are two of the most important things when it comes to sustaining relationships. When a nice guy says he will meet you, he'll be there. What a nice guy says he will do something, he will. When a nice guy tells you something, he means it. Predictability might not excite some people who want to stay on the edge of their seats, but a lot of people appreciate nice guys because they're predictable.
They Question Themselves Sometimes
Nice guys aren't always as confident as the bad boys. They question themselves. They know they're not perfect. They may be nervous around women who they find attractive. They might be too shy at first to ask for a date. They may wonder if they're attractive enough to approach you to even say hello, and it might take them a long time to work up the courage to ask you out. By the time some nice guys work up the courage to flirt, ask you out, or express interest, somebody else might already be dating you. That just means when they settle down in a long-term relationship, they're sure that they're really in love. Questioning themselves, working on themselves, and taking their time to make decisions about relationships is actually a good thing. Because it means that once they commit, they really mean it. Find out if you are ready for commitment here: How to Know When You’re Ready to Commit
What’s a Bad Boy?
Bad boys are young men or even men who aren’t especially young anymore who aren’t nice, pleasant, or cooperative. They have some alluring traits that draw people, but these traits can be bad things too. They act like they don’t care what people say or think about them. They are emotionally unavailable and manage to find ways to excite people and get their adrenaline pumping. Perhaps their most alluring quality is their confidence and bold assertiveness.
They Don’t Care
Bad boys are appealing to a lot of people because they act like they just do not care what people think. The very idea of being free from caring about other people’s judgement or opinions seems liberating, and to an extent, bad boys are onto something. If someone’s opinion cannot harm you, why care? On the other hand, bad boys usually don’t care about how they make other people feel, and that’s not a good thing. It means they do whatever they want no matter who it hurts, and sometimes, the person who gets hurt is you.
Emotionally Unavailable
Bad boys are not available to you when you're having a bad day, need reassurance, or a pep talk. They aren't there to be in a relationship with you. They want to take things from you, so why should they give of themselves emotionally? You will need a nice guy for that, because a bad boy won't do it. One Zodiac sign that will always be emotionally available to the people who they care about is Scorpio and you can read about them here: Scorpio Traits | Star Sign in the Spotlight
They Are an Adrenaline Rush
Bad boys are surrounded by excitement. They're always taking risks, accepting dares, and they might take you along with them for these things. Some people love all of this and without it will be bored if they don't have the excitement from these things. These things can be downright dangerous though. Is it really worth it?
They are Bold and Confident
The biggest thing bad boys do that a lot of nice guys won't is assert themselves. They walk in the room oozing confidence and charm. They seem like they can talk to anybody, and they're instant best friends with everyone they meet. They won't be shy about asking you to dance, buying you a drink, or telling you they want sex. They also have the confidence to tell you they don't care about you since they've already gotten what they wanted. They would be wise not to behave this way toward a Libra though, and you can read about those Zodiac sign here: Libra Traits | Star Sign in the Spotlight
Why Bad Boys Make You Feel Good
If you say bad boys make you feel good, and nice guys just don’t get it- there is something wrong that dating a bad boy won’t fix. You may have endured problems growing up or developed issues somewhere along the way on your own. You may have grown up in an unstable dramatic home and this may or may not have made you love conflict. You might feel thrilled by forbidden things or be afraid of emotional attachment. You might also like the drama that comes with being mistreated or the attention you get when other people feel sorry for you.
You Grew Up in Drama
If you grew up in an unstable household, you may be more likely to fall into the trap of accepting a bad boy into your life. It's because it's what you're used to, and you don't know any difference. Bad boys provide the same unstable drama that that type of household does, and sometimes what's familiar but bad feels better than the unknown.
You Thrive in Conflict
Some people are downright bored if there's not the adrenaline rush of conflict going on. They need arguments, make up sex after explosive fights, and they need to chase someone. Bad boys provide things like this. How do you fight with a bad boy? Read what the zodiac has to say about it here: How the Zodiac Signs Fight
You Crave the Forbidden
Bad boys provide some things that good boys don't. They're not afraid to engage in the forbidden. Violent sex, sultry clothes, disrespectful behavior, and going against the norms of society are things bad boys don’t mind partaking of. They act unafraid of anything, and some women are highly attracted to this.
You Fear Attachment
A bad boy won't tie you down. It's very unlikely that they will marry you, but if they do, they might sleep around, which means you can too. Even if they marry you and don’t sleep around, they will usually be emotionally unavailable or too busy spending time doing the things they want to do to spend it with you. This means you won't feel trapped with someone who has emotional expectations of you. Never try to tie down an Aquarian. Read more about that sign here: Aquarius Traits | Star Sign in The Spotlight
You Like Being Mistreated
Some women love being dominated by demanding men and they like being dominated so much they don't get any choice in anything. A bad boy will happily provide this because he loves telling people what to do. Some bad boys are downright abusive and if other people see this, you might get a lot of sympathy, which some people love getting.
How to Find a Nice Guy
Nice guys are everywhere. You just have to be on the lookout. You can't always tell the first time you meet someone if they're a nice guy or a bad boy, because some people are very good at hiding how bad they are. Everywhere you go, there are nice people and people who will treat you badly. The way they talk to you, whether they call you, where they show up or flake out on you, and how courteous people are shows whether they treat you nicely or badly.
The problem is, a lot of people get excited when they're seeing someone new and focus on the things they like instead of looking for signs someone is trouble. When someone acts bad, they're showing you how they are. You should believe them. When you are an adult dating other adults, it’s not your job to educate them on how they should treat you. They know what's courteous and what's not. Preferences about what kind of things to do on dates, and how long to wait to kiss or even have sex is something that you can discuss, but if someone makes you explain to them that they should be nice to you, they're a bad boy. Ditch the bad boys and hold out for the nice guys. They are out there.
Hope for Nice Guys
Are you a nice guy who feels like you strike out in love every time because all the ladies chase the bad boys? Maybe you compare yourself to ultra confident bad boys. Maybe you see women accept more dates from them than you think you’re getting and you think bad boys attract women and women don’t like nice guys. If this is true, what are these women getting from bad boys? Can the bad boys pay their own bills or are they couch surfing at every girlfriend’s house they ever had? Even the bad boys who support themselves don’t always want to be financially responsible for anybody else. That means sometimes they don’t want to take care of their own children. Would you want to be this kind of man if you thought it meant you got more dates?
Don’t focus on women who don’t want to date you. Focus on what you want in relationships. Most nice guys want to find a faithful lover to settle down with in a long-term relationship. People who chase bad boys or bad girls won’t usually end up with that. The excited anticipation of date night is nothing compared to spending your life with someone you love and can trust. So, stay nice. If somebody wants the instability and lack of commitment from a bad boy, that is their business, and it shouldn’t be your problem. Nice ladies and men prefer nice partners.
Some people say bad boys make them feel good- but they actually don’t. Bad boys make people feel bad. It’s the nice guys who make people feel good. Some bad boys have alluring qualities like ultra confidence, but this disguises the fact they are not that caring. Nice guys are. Nice guys might think they don’t get as many dates as bad boys- but nice guys get more committed relationships. That is perhaps the best feeling of all!
Is your new guy a bad boy or a nice guy? Get a reading started to find out if he’s good news or bad news today!
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