Should I Try to Get My Ex Back?

TL;DR

Breakups are challenging and almost all of us will go through one at some point. So, knowing this, how can I get my ex back if I know we should never have broken up? What happens if we are in love but not together? Or else, how do I say no to a relationship that I know is doomed to fail?

Do you ever wonder how to talk your ex into getting back together? Or how to prove love to someone you have hurt? Sometimes we just know we are meant to be together, but we aren’t. Navigating exes and break ups is a huge challenge, but learning how to put ourselves first is essential. Following the tips and advice in this article may help you to figure out exactly what is right for you and your ex moving forwards. 

Going Through a Break Up

Ah, the post-break up, age-old question. Should we get back together? After all, we miss each other, so that counts for something, right? Perhaps everything suddenly came crashing down after a heated argument or maybe the issues were simmering under the surface for some time. But the plug has been pulled and there is no going back. Or is there?

How Do I Know I Made the Right Decision?

It would make life so much easier if we could be sure that we made the right decision when breaking up with a partner. However, of course it is never quite this simple. In these instances, what we must do is try to put the whole relationship, and the way it came to an end, into perspective. What were your reasons for breaking up and are these reasons non-negotiable? Or, did you imagine you would feel very differently and have come to regret your decision? Right now is the time to be completely honest with yourself. There is no need to be ashamed about wanting an ex back, but there are many things that need to be considered before making the leap and reconciling. Most importantly, it is important to take some time to figure out why you're feeling this way and whether or not the relationship is going to be the quick fix you are looking for. So don't rush it. For you to get your ex back, you must put in a lot of time and effort to establish a strong foundation, with all the right intentions. However, above all, when you know in your heart that the decision you made was the one you needed to make at the time, you must trust yourself. Our gut feelings are never to be ignored.

Should Me and My Ex Get Back Together?

Doubting our decision to break up with a partner is a problem almost all of us are going to face at some point or another, and it is never going to be easy. Or worse, we may find ourselves unable to accept a decision that has been made for us and leads us to wonder if things would be better if we got back with our exes. However, there is so much to consider and it can be dangerous to let our emotions take the lead in our decision making. The battle between head and heart is so real. 

Is Getting Back Together a Good Idea? A Checklist

1. Do you both have remorse? Relationships don’t always fail as a result of the actions of just one partner. More often, both sides have caused hurt, communicated poorly and let the bond wither. In these instances, meaningful apologies are crucial; a simple ‘sorry’ is unlikely to cut it. Both exes also need to show their remorse through listening and promising to change their actions.

2. Can BOTH of you take responsibility? In taking responsibility, a person acknowledges their actions and the consequences of these actions, even if the pain caused was unintentional. When you say you’re sorry, a big part of that is acknowledging what went wrong and taking ownership of it. This lets an ex feel heard and supported, a fundamental component of reconciling after a break up. In short, both exes need to hash out exactly what went wrong and how they each could have done better.

3. Are you both being realistic? Break ups hurt. A lot. However, we need to prevent this temporary pain from clouding our judgment. The fact of the matter is that break ups happen for a reason and not all problems are fixable. Sometimes personalities clash and core values don’t align. These reasons are all perfectly justifiable when it comes to calling it a day in a relationship. Try to look at the bigger picture.

4. Do both of you intend to go the extra mile? It takes two to make a relationship work. As such, it is important to bear in mind that even though you both may be equally eager to rekindle the romance, both of you must be on the same page about how to move forwards as a team. Now is the time to set expectations and create boundaries in order to set both of you up for greatness.

Should I Cast a Spell to Bring Him Back?

Casting spells of any kind is a risk. Sometimes they may reap all of our deepest desires, but often they can go awry and cause more harm than good. Put simply, spells that involve the changing of someone else's behavior or the alteration of the natural cause of their life are especially dangerous to cast. We may end up getting exactly what we asked for, but along with it, we may receive many things we did not anticipate. Getting our ex back is one thing, but to be tied back into an unhealthy, toxic relationship is even more problematic than longing for a past lover. In short, it is wise to sit down and really consider your motivations and the potential repercussions of casting a spell to bring back an ex. 

How Do You Know You Truly Love Someone?

What are the signs of true love? How can we distinguish this from infatuation or lust? Sometimes the mind can distort how the heart truly feels about a person. Often this happens when we think there is potential with someone but we haven’t been able to explore the possibility of being with them. Perhaps this person was already in a relationship, your time with them was cut short or you never managed to make a ‘situationship’ official. There are many reasons why relationships may fail to get off the ground and this is often a big part of why we develop borderline obsessive feelings for others - we never had the chance to see the relationship fail. We never got to see their bad traits, their flaws and their habits that would have driven us crazy in a partnership. We only got to experience a fleeting moment together where everything seemed compatible and idyllic. So, with that said, learning to spot the difference between infatuation and true love is certainly a challenge, but is easier to determine through time. Time allows for two people to see the good, the bad and the downright ugly. Partners can see how they deal with major life obstacles and how they work together as a team. So love isn’t always a beautiful and exciting whirlwind, rather, it is the feeling of complete comfort and safety with another person. When you know, you know. 

How Do You Move on From Someone You Love?

Break ups happen for a variety of different reasons, and rarely is it because love has simply vanished from the equation. However, we need to try our best to stay logical about the situation, as it is all too common to look back at a relationship with rose-tinted glasses and forget the true reasons for breaking up - spending a long time apart can make things harder because we imagine the best and forget about the things that drove us crazy. Remembering the upsetting times or the occasions in which we were hurt by our partners is difficult for the brain to process. Instead, we place the times of love, comfort and peace at the front and center of our minds, as this is the state we are constantly striving for. Knowing this, therefore, it is smart to prevent idolization; try to stop rereading old text conversations, looking at old photos and ruminating over the good times. Instead, look at the situation more objectively, and try to weigh the good and the bad equally. 

Are All Relationships Imperfect?

No matter when you start dating or if you've been married for many years, there will always be rough patches in every relationship. Instead of trying to work it out, people run for the hills when they encounter these obstacles. As such, it is better to stop searching for the perfect partner and instead focus on improving yourself to allow for more satisfying relationships moving forwards. Relationships are excellent vehicles for personal growth, so take advantage. Not only this, but many people believe that there is no such thing as soul mates, or the idea that there is only one person destined for another. However, this does not mean that true love is a farce or that two people won’t find each other and be happy for the rest of their lives; we need to reject the notion that there is only one person in the world for us, and that unless we find that person, we will be consumed by a life of loneliness and romantic misery. Quite the contrary - we can experience an exceptionally satisfying and deeply fulfilling relationship with many people. Trying to find that "perfect" someone fuels a perpetual mindset that the grass is greener on the other side and sadly makes it very easy to walk away from what might be an imperfect, "perfect" relationship. Those who have experienced love know what appears to be attractive on paper but may not necessarily know what makes people happy long term. What's more confusing is that what people are initially drawn to may not always be healthy in the long run. That said, we should not allow these facts to demoralize us; instead, they should motivate us to be more open and receptive to potential partners. 

How To Deal with a Break Up

The immediate upheaval of a break up can feel like the worst thing in the world, but the prangs of loss and sadness months after the event are potentially even worse. Due to this, we need to learn to give ourselves time and space to heal, reflect and process the ending of the relationship. Avoiding rebounds, the use of substances and other unproductive coping mechanisms is a must in these instances, as it only creates a distraction that prevents us from healing the soul. We need to really sit with our emotions and feel all of the feels. Sure, it’s difficult and uncomfortable to do so, but burying the pain only results in it resurfacing again somewhere down the line. It may feel easier to deny your feelings, but we need to confront it head-on in order to move forwards. 

How To Put the Past Behind You

1. Find happiness in the little things. Reach out to old friends, spend extra time with family and immerse yourself in your favorite hobbies. We can neglect certains areas of our life that we take for granted, so learning to pour your love back into them is essential in learning to love your life again. 

2. Face your fears. Relationships can make us too comfortable at times. We fall into routines and patterns of behavior that don’t allow for self-growth. So, while break ups are never nice, take this as an opportunity to refocus your energy and experience some new, exciting life experiences.

3. Revel in the emotions. You are likely to question many things about yourself and your self-esteem may feel extra fragile. But don’t fight these feelings. Enjoy the catharsis of crying and truly feeling the emotions of it all. 

4. Have no regrets. Whatever happened in your past relationship, there will be a take away from it. View the experience as something of value, and not as a waste. Think about what lessons you learned and you can grow from the experience in some way. 

There are many things that need to be considered when debating getting back with an ex. Some relationships are fixable while others have ended for a good reason. Regardless of the situation, navigating the end of a relationship is an extremely emotional and vulnerable time. If we can gain anything from it, let it be self-growth and a means to better understand ourselves.

Do you still want to know more about dealing with breakups? There are many resources at Mysticsense that can guide you with your learning and provide insight for any other questions you may have. Get started learning more about how to deal with a break up at Mysticsense today!