You might be madly in love with someone who makes you wonder why you’re with them because they absolutely exhaust you emotionally. Find out how emotional burn out in relationships happens and how you can come back from it- stronger together!
Relationships are supposed to improve your life. Some people make you wonder if it’s better to be alone when they emotionally drain you, though. Some people are not worth the time you put up with them, but some people really are, even if you feel burned out from a relationship. Join Mysticsense to find out all about relationship burnout. Find out how it happens, signs it’s happening, and how you can decide whether the relationship is worth saving or not. Finally, discover deceptively simple ways to pull yourself and your relationship out of the disaster zone and back to happy times. Burnout doesn’t necessarily mean things are over. Read in to find out why.
What is Relationship Exhaustion?
Relationship exhaustion, also known as relationship burnout, is when you are mentally, emotionally, or physically exhausted from trying to maintain a relationship that is difficult. You might feel like the stress of maintaining a difficult relationship outweighs the benefits of keeping it going. You might feel like there are more bad days than good days in your relationship and your relationship may be draining you. You might be working overtime to try and keep the peace, but you feel like it's not your fault that there's problems. You might be the only one giving and it seems like your partner is doing all the taking.
Whatever is going on, burnout or exhaustion in your relationship can happen in any type of relationship. It can happen with your significant other, your best friend, or even a family member. It doesn't mean that you're ready to call it quits or that you don't love them. It just means that you have given so much that it hurts and you don't know if you have anything left to give. If you’re doing too much to maintain the relationship, that’s not good. Find out why it’s a bad idea to give or do too much here: The Case Against the Desire to Overdo It
How Relationship Burnout Happens
There was probably a time in your relationship when everything seemed perfect. Now, with relationship burnout, you might wonder why you even bother to get together in the first place. How did your relationship get to this point? A number of things could have happened. Financial issues might be causing a strain on your relationship and work related stress might be also. Responsibility to family could be driving you apart. However, things like unresolved issues or imbalances in how much the two of you contribute to the relationship could be causing the burnout.
Financial Woes
Money doesn't fix everything, but it fixes a lot of problems. Difficult times call for teamwork, but sometimes it creates arguments instead. If one of you has just lost your job and your finances are strained, it might trigger arguments. How you spend money can be a contention point. Going on vacations, buying a house, or even paying bills and buying groceries cost money. If money is tight, it can make you argue over money, blame one another, and even think about splitting up.
Work Stress
Work can be stressful. If you work a job that you hate instead of a dream job that you want, there can be little left of you emotionally when it's time to be with the people who you love after you're off the clock. You can be so tired and stressed you prefer to stay home and self isolate, and if you live with someone who you love, you might completely neglect the relationship if work is taking too much out of you. If you're working an overload of hours, you might not even get to see the people who you love. Maybe your job is so toxic you should quit. Learn some signs it’s time to here: 12 Signs That You Should Quit Your Job
Family Responsibility
Having kids can put a major strain on your relationship. You might be so busy taking care of the kids, you don't have time together as a couple anymore. You might disagree on how to parent. One of you might be doing all the parenting while the other is completely absent. Besides that, having children can make your sex life completely non-existent, and it can make you feel that you're drifting apart. It's a common problem that a lot of people experience after they've had kids. It's nobody's fault, It just takes the emphasis away from your relationship with each other and makes the kids the center of your world.
Unresolved Conflicts
Disagreements in your relationship that you can't resolve or come to terms with for a compromise can really drive a wedge between you. Some people have a constant argument going on with their loved one about one topic. If you can't agree on whether to buy a house or not, or even which house to buy, that can cause a long-term problem in your relationship. Disagreements on where to take vacations can create long term resentment. Trying to decide when, where, and how to retire can strain your relationship. Fights over extended family can cause contention that pushes you to be estranged from them. Learn more about family estrangement here: Estrangement from Family - Deciding to Do It
Imbalances
If you feel that you're doing more work on maintaining the relationship and your partner is complacent, it can make you feel very burned out. Unequal distribution of housework in a relationship, unequal bill paying in a relationship, or unequal time taking care of family responsibilities can push you apart in ways that nothing else can. An imbalance can make one person feel used in a relationship, and unappreciated. In friendships, the same thing can happen. If you are the one who reaches out to initiate contact and invitations every time and your friend never does, it can make you feel like you're basically watering dead flowers instead of having a friendship.
Signs of Relationship Burnout
So, what are the signs that you are having relationship burnout? Some signs that you feel burned out from your relationship are that emotionally there is a great distance between you or you fight all the time. You might feel bored with a relationship and you might completely avoid seeing your loved one. Read on to find some common signs that you felt burned out from your relationship.
You’re Emotionally Separated
You can be actively involved in a relationship, but feel an emotional vacancy there. If you live together, and barely see each other, or even spend time together and almost ignore each other, that's a sign of emotional separation. You might love them, and not want to break up, but you just don't feel close to them anymore. Multiple things could have caused that, but when you get to the point that you just don't feel the emotional connection that you used to, that's a sign of relationship burnout. Even during times of emotional separation you can still choose love. Find out why here: The Case for Always Choosing Love
You Fight
Most couples fight every so often, but if you are fighting constantly, and you never did before, that's a sign of emotional burnout. You might be tired of watching what you say, or there might be something very upsetting that isn't getting resolved and you don't feel like ignoring it. Fights aren't necessarily a sign of a relationship ending, but regular fights are a sign that you are sick of things that are happening in the relationship and you're speaking out about it.
You’re Bored with Them
When you first got together, the person who you love might have been the most fun person who you ever met. That doesn't always last. You might have fallen into boring habits, with nothing spontaneous happening anymore. You might be tired of your routines, and not know how to bring more fun into your relationship. They might have a very bad habit that you're bored with also. You can use magic to transform boredom into fun. Learn how here: Using Personal Transformation Magic
You Avoid Them
You might be so burned out from your relationship, you start avoiding your loved one. At any time that's happening, it's a sign of problems. Avoiding someone isn't going to solve any problems, but it might make you feel better to be completely away from them anyways.
You Dislike Them Sometimes
Relationship burnout is probably happening when you still love someone, but you don't always like them anymore. Their bad habits might be grating on your nerves. They may have a bad attitude that you're tired of. The relationship burnout might make you resent them, and it can make you notice little things that you tolerated early on in your relationship but they drive you crazy now. Disliking someone can be an irreconcilable difference and lead to breakup . Find out more here: How an Irreconcilable Difference Causes Breakups
You Don’t Care
One way that you can tell if you're suffering from relationship burnout is if you really don't care what happens to the relationship anymore. If you don't care about whether things work out, you're burned out. If you don't care that they're complaining about something that upset them, you're burned out. If you don't care that it's your anniversary, you're probably burned out. Anytime you don't care what's happening in the relationship, that's a sign that you have relationship burnout.
Wondering What Could Have Been
If you start wondering how different your life could have been if you weren't in this relationship, you're probably burned out. Remembering old flames., daydreaming about being single, or wondering what would happen if you broke up is a sure sign of a relationship burnout. You can break up with a best friend too. Read about best friend breakups here: Am I Having a Best Friend Breakup?
You Feel Trapped
If you feel trapped in a relationship instead of happily committed to one another, that's a sure sign of relationship burnout. A relationship should feel like a safe place and one that you're thankful is stable. If you feel stuck and want to get out of their relationship, you've got relationship burnout.
How to Rescue Your Relationship
Just because you have relationship burnout doesn't mean that your relationship is going to fail. There are a few things that you can do to come back from relationship burnout and make things great again. The first thing you have to do is remember how much you love them and open your heart and give of yourself. Accept responsibility for your part of the relationship, then, recommit to your relationship together.
Remember the Love
The key to rescuing any relationship is instead of focusing on emotional burnout, focus on how much you love one another. The longer you are together, the more life will change, and the more your relationship will have to adapt. If you want to save a relationship that is suffering from emotional burnouts, true love is always a great reason to rescue that relationship. Was it love at first sight for you two? Find out here: Is Love at First Sight Real?
Give First
Never be afraid to be the first to reach out to try and repair a relationship. It doesn't make you desperate, or a fool. It makes you committed to your relationship. Your partner might be afraid to speak up, or not know what to say or do to try and make things better. Even just starting the conversation is a great first step to rescuing your relationship from emotional burnout. It's worth it.
Accept Responsibility
It's very important to accept responsibility for whatever part that you have played in the emotional burnout. Maybe neither of you actually did anything wrong, but both of you are going to have to work on coming back from burnout. You will have to make some changes and so will your loved one. Accept that, and you are on the right path to recovery from emotional burnout in your relationship. Now is a time to focus on equal responsibility- but do you love them more? Find out here: Do They Love You More? When You Love Them More
Recommit
There was a time when the two of you committed to a relationship together. That was before a burnout happened. Times have changed. Relationship burnout can make you consider breaking up and calling things off. If you decide to stay together, you will have to commit emotionally to one another again so that you don't break things off. Commitment will be the key to working out any problems.
Is it Worth Saving?
If someone is toxic, or you have grown beyond the relationship, emotional burnout might be alerting you to that. Every relationship goes through tough times, because people go through tough times. If those times are caused by one or both of you, you might decide it’s better to break things off. If the person you’re involved with does not respect boundaries, cheats, deliberately hurts you, or just isn’t focused on the relationship, your emotional burnout is a major indication that the relationship is dead, and you need to move on. Deciding to call it quits and stepping away can feel like you are tearing your own heart out. Just remember that stepping away from a toxic or dead relationship doesn’t define your whole life. Love is out there for you, even if it’s not in your current relationship that has burned you out.
Emotional burnout is a sign your relationship is troubled, but that doesn’t mean it’s over. Signs like boredom with your relationship or completely avoiding the person you love are signs of relationship burnout. You can come back from relationship burnout by remembering love, and recommitting to your relationship together. Love and commitment can hold you together when stress or difficulties threaten to tear you apart.
Has emotional burnout hit you recently? Reach out to speak with one of our relationship experts to find out what to do about it today.
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