Some people say opposites attract in relationships, but some people say a relationship with an opposite is a recipe for disaster. Find out if opposites really do attract and how to work things out if you love an opposite.
You might feel a magnetic draw to someone who is exactly the opposite of you. If you’re shy, an outgoing individual who can talk to anybody might appeal to you. If you’re an extrovert, you may feel drawn to the quieter single you just met. It’s undeniable that a stranger who is everything we aren’t can be intriguing and seem like the sexiest person you ever met- but can things work out with someone who is so different? Join Mysticsense to find out. Find out how opposites attract and repel one another and what studies say about the chances of success. Find out, regardless of what they say, surefire ways to work things out. Opposites attract, but can you stay together? Read on to find out.
Do Opposites Attract?
“ Together we form a necessary paradox, not a senseless contradiction.”- Criss Jami
There's a saying that's been around for a while that opposites attract, but is it true? Sometimes opposites attract, and sometimes they really don't. Initially, it can be exciting to spend time with someone who's different from you, because they bring variety and exciting new experiences into your life. Introverts and extroverts might get together and benefit from each other's differing personality traits. People who are more free spirited may find people who are less flexible interesting because you know what to expect with them. Less flexible people may love spending time with free spirited people for a while because it's fun to have new experiences and discover new things.
According to Psychology Today, studies have shown that typically, people are more drawn to long-term relationships with people who they share similarities with. Religious beliefs, political views, and lifestyle are a few things that need to be fairly similar for people to be comfortable enough to reconcile a lifestyle together. Other experts have said that men who date women are typically drawn to women who look or behave like their mother, and women who date men are typically drawn to men who look or behave like their fathers. Read more from Psychology Today about studies here: Do Opposites Really Attract? | Psychology Today
How Opposites Attract
‘We come together because opposites attract.”- Paula Abdul song
The way opposites attract is simple. It's all about romantic thinking. The thought of being with someone who compliments you or balances you or brings something interesting in your life is fascinating. Someone who offers you a new perspective and teaches you new ways of doing things is wonderful. Some people like a challenge in a partner. Someone who calls them out on their worst habits, builds them up on their best habits, and pushes them to see things through a different perspective can be highly attractive.
We love things about ourselves and wish we could change things about ourselves too. Meeting someone who embodies the traits you wish you had can immediately draw you to them. Introverts sometimes love to be “adopted” by outgoing extroverts, who will take them along wherever they go for social events. Extroverts may find their introverted loved one more loyal than other extrovert friends and find this a refreshing change of pace. Creative people are sometimes drawn to more straight-laced office types of people who they feel give them more predictability. Their straight-laced loved ones may be bored with their predictable lifestyle and want to add interest to their days. If you want to flex your creative muscle, plan your own wedding. Yes you can- find out how here: Be a Wedding Organizer- Plan Your Perfect Wedding
How Opposites Repel
“You NEVER marry outside your class.” – Ron White
Scitechdaily online had some sobering statistics from studies over the course of more than 100 years showing many couples prefer more similarities than differences. More than 90% of traits are typically shared with long-term couples. Things like religious beliefs, education levels, IQ, and substance use typically correlate pretty closely with couples whether they are cohabitating or married. When opposites attract, it’s pretty rare, they say, but yes, it does happen every so often. Read more from Scitechdaily here: Popular Myth Debunked: Scientists Find That Opposites Don’t Actually Attract
Basically, what couples need is a life together, and if there is constant conflict, it tends to drive people apart. Disagreements about how to handle finances, parent children, plan for retirement, manage a household, and do vacations together can cause fights. An inability to discuss things rationally can be a problem with any couple, however, if your partner constantly pushes you outside of your comfort zone, it goes from being an exciting new experience to being unsettling constantly. Constant conflict can cause relationship exhaustion. Find out how to combat that here: Help for Emotional Fatigue in Relationships
Can We Work It Out?
“ Opposites attract- and then can’t stand each other.”- Kenneth Kaye
The chances of long-term success don’t look great according to studies- but it’s not impossible. If 90% of couples could not work things out with opposite people- that means 10% can. You and your partner could very well be part of that 10% of lucky couples. If you and your partner both try, and you want to work things out, you probably can. Some couples failed miserably because of their personality differences. Diana, Princess of Wales’ high profile split from Charles before he was King is a glaring example of how introvert extrovert differences can drive people apart.
The extroverted author is married to a painfully shy introvert. He hides sometimes when company comes, and she socializes for hours on end. After nearly 20 years together, they are living proof that opposites can work things out. They work things out by respecting one another’s needs. He has taught her the value of solitude- which means she gets a lot more work done than when she is surrounded by people. She has taught him the value of spending quality time with other people, and balancing that with alone time. The secret is they both pushed themselves to try something new- but they respected one another’s boundaries. Learn how to set relationship boundaries here: Setting Boundaries in Your Life and Relationships
Working Things Out
“ Opposites attract, and I think temperament is so fundamental that you end up craving someone of the opposite temperament to complete you.”- Susan Cain
Although studies showed that a majority of relationships between opposites fail- remember- not all of them did. Some relationships between opposites work out long-term. That means you might be able to work out a long-term relationship with someone who is the exact opposite of you. Simple things you and your partner do everyday can assure long term success. Keep in mind, all couples need to do things like this- even if they are almost exactly alike. From focusing on similarities to embracing differences, if you really want to, you can make your relationship work, even if you are polar opposites.
Embrace Differences
Embracing differences is important in any relationship. Even the people most like us are slightly different in some ways. So never expect someone you love to be identical to you, agree with you on everything, or always do things your way. Supporting differences is also important. If your loved one is prolific in sports, supporting them even if you're not is very important. Likewise, they can support you as a home chef. Participating in each other’s interests great way to work things out when you're different from one another.
Focus on Similarities
While you're embracing your differences, focusing on what's similar is very important. Maybe you're the social butterfly and your partner is shy, but you both share a passion for classical music. Maybe you're crazy about trying new food often and your significant other eats the same thing day in and day out, but you both love hiking. We can't do everything with our partner, but part of the reason we're together is to do things with them in the first place. So, do the things together that make you happy as a couple. Focusing on similarities creates a safe space for everyone. Find out how to create those safe spaces here: Sanctuaries - How to Create Safe Spaces
Be Open-Minded
It's very important to be open-minded in general, but especially within your own relationships. Remember, the longer you're together, the more you will both change. One day, your partner will be spending their evenings at the gym. The next day they will be interested in race car driving. You never know what kind of things that you're not accustomed to that your partner will become interested in. Interfaith and intercultural couples find ways to learn and accept the differences in their relationship,aAnd so can you just open your mind, learn, and embrace differences.
Try New Things
While you're being open-minded, try something new together as a couple. It's okay if you don't want to get in the race car with your partner when they start racing, but go and watch. Go to the interesting events that your partner goes to that you've never tried. Try the foods that their family grew up with that you've never eaten before. Visit their family's place of worship and do holidays with them their way. Remember, as of today, there are over 8 billion people on the planet. There are so many different things to do, so many different ways to live, and so many different people to experience life with, so try new things. One Zodiac sign that loves spontaneous, new experiences is Sagittarius, and you can read about love with them here: Learn About Sagittarius Men and Women in Love
Don’t Fight
Fighting amplifies differences. When you fight, you're against each other. When you discuss things, you're on the same team and you both want to win. That's what being a couple is all about. You have to be on your partner's side even if you disagree with something, or don't understand it. There will come a time when you need them to understand something about you and instead of fighting it, you want them to listen. So, when you don't understand something, ask questions, and listen to what you're being told instead of fighting.
Balance Each Other
One of the most wonderful things about being in a relationship with someone who is the opposite of you is you can balance one another. There will be things that you can't do, but your partner can. There will be things that your partner can't do, but you can. If you are the extroverted one, you can speak up in public for your partner. If you are the introverted one, you will know how to find a quiet place for them when they're tired of talking with strangers. If you're good at earning money and they're nurturing, they can be the stay-at-home parent and you can work outside the home. What you can't do, your opposite can. Libras love to balance all relationships. Read more about that Zodiac Sign here: Libra Traits | Star Sign in the Spotlight
Respect Independence
You might be a couple, but you're still individuals. Each individual is unique and perfect just as they are. That's hard to remember when your partner is so different from you it makes your head spin. Just remember that they were who they were before you came together as a couple and fell in love. They will always be who they are no matter what, and so will you. Being in a relationship does not change who you are. Remember that being in a relationship is just part of your life. You need your independence and your individuality no matter what.
Compromise
Sometimes neither one of you can have everything your way, so you're going to both have to give and take a little bit and do that scary thing called compromise. The more different you are from one another, the more you're going to have to compromise. When you're able to compromise with one another as a couple, you both acknowledge how much you each matter and that you want to make sure that there's something for both of you. It’s easier to compromise if you’re someone who accepts constructive criticism. Find out how here: The Fine Art of Being a Constructive Critic
A Last Word
A majority of relationships between opposites don’t last because not everybody tries. It doesn't matter how hard you try in a relationship, if your partner refuses, you're the only one who's working on things. The key to success in any relationship is to have a relationship with somebody who will participate in it with you. Some people are so stubborn they don't care about how they make their partner feel. To be honest though, such people would treat someone who is very much like them the same way, so it will be difficult for them to work out relationships with anybody.
Each of us has a built-in psychic instinct that lets us know that someone isn't trying. In a relationship, some people will fight this instinct or try to constantly talk their significant other into changing. You can't change people, no matter how much you will try to. Long-term relationships work out with people who contribute to the relationship instead of placing unfair demands on their partner. Allow yourself to walk away from someone who isn't contributing no matter how similar or different from you they may be.
Opposites might attract, but they don't always stay together. Just because some opposites initially attract and then repel each other doesn't mean you and your polar opposite partner will. If you love one another and want to work the relationship out, all you have to do is respect your differences, focus on the similarities, and do things like compromise. No two people are identical anyways, so embrace your differences, and love your partner who is your polar opposite. Love is worth it.
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