Articles and Media

How to Know if He is Playing You

Lady Saoirse
By Lady Saoirse
August 06, 2025
How to Know if He is Playing You
How to Know if He is Playing You

Some men are notorious for playing, also known as emotionally manipulating women they have no intention of having a relationship with just for sex. Find out if he is playing you and what to do about it.

So you've met someone who you think is Prince Charming. When you're with him the sex is explosive, but after the sex, he is nowhere to be found. He says beautiful things to you to make you feel like you have really connected with him more deeply than anyone you've ever met before. Then, he vanishes into thin air, but he always resurfaces. You've never been so confused before and you just don't know what to think. Is it possible that your Prince Charming is just a player? Join Mysticsense to find out. Find out exactly what a player is and signs that you're being played by one. Find out signs that he's not a player, but what to do if you find out he is. Players might play but that doesn't mean that they have to play you. Read on to find out how to beat them at their own game.

What’s a Player?

What’s a Player?

A player pretends to be interested in you so they can get something from you. Usually that something is sex. They are playing with your emotions and that's why they're called players. To be fair, a lot of men get a reputation for being players, but men aren't the only ones that do it. Plenty of women are players also. There are also plenty of people who make it very clear that they don't care about you, they just want to use you for something. The difference between them and a player, as the other type of user is honest about their emotional unavailability. They're not playing at anything.

It doesn't take long to figure out a player's game. When all they're doing is coming to you for sex and they are unavailable for anything else, that's obvious. Why do they do it? What is wrong with them that they are so self-centered, heartless, and hurtful? Who knows? They do it because they can. They also do it because you have something valuable to offer. Users only use people who they get some sort of satisfaction from. Just remember that your relationship with yourself is more important than any other relationship you will ever have. Read how to fix a broken relationship with yourself here: How to Love Yourself More

Signs He is Playing You

How can you know he is playing you? There will be signs. He will be emotionally unavailable and do things like bread crumbing, ghosting, and then disappearing and reappearing. He will want nothing but sex and flake out when you try to make plans. He won't want to discuss the future or even tell you anything about himself. He also won't want anybody to know about you so he won't like dating you. He will be irresponsible and immature in a lot of ways.

He’s Emotionally Unavailable

If you're having a bad day, your player won't care. He won’t want to hear how sad you are that you had to fire your new employee or how upset you are that your best friend just moved out of town. He won't check on you when your grandmother is dying. Instead he'll wait a while and ask for sex again. He might not even remember that your grandmother just died. All he knows is he wants sex. When you're sad, scared, lonesome, confused, or celebrating some kind of a personal victory, he won't want to hear about it.

He Breadcrumbs You

Does he spend time with you and then leave for a while, making you wonder when he's coming back? If you've known him for an extended period of time and him being selfish with his time has been the theme, that's called breadcrumbing. If he does that he's trying to keep you interested but doesn't want to commit to a relationship with you. Breadcrumbing creates an illusion that he is interested, but guess what? You can create illusions too. Find out how here: Keeping an Illusion in Glamour Magic

He Ghosts You

Ghosting means somebody just cuts you off entirely without an explanation. Players are notorious for that. Being ghosted by someone who was previously attentive to get sex can be very confusing, especially if you are someone who bonds emotionally through affection. Why do people ghost each other? They do it because they don't want to talk to somebody anymore. If he's not returning calls and won't talk to you, he’s ghosting you, possibly because he's found someone else to use for sex.

All He Wants is Sex

When you're spending time with someone and all you do is have sex and nothing else, that's a good sign you’re with a player. He will say whatever he has to so he can get you to go to bed with him. He may be very attentive during sex, and then immediately leave or refuse to even allow you to spend the night. He may be very attentive during phone calls while he sets up the day and time you have sex, and then you might not hear from him again until he wants more sex. Sex isn’t all bad, and the Zodiac signs have certain things that turn them on or off. Read more here: Sex and the Signs

He Disappears and Reappears

Ghosting and breadcrumbing aside, your player will have his own style of disappearing only to reappear out of seemingly nowhere. Days, weeks, or even months may go by. Some players have been known to resurface after being absent for years. Maybe they found someone else to play for a while and their most recent victim got sick of them, so they need to find someone else to play with. There are times when you break things off with somebody and they reach out to try to work things out again, but a player won't do that. They will reach out for sex alone.

He’s a Flake

He’s a Flake

A sure sign you're dealing with a player is that he will talk about making plans, and then he never does. He will talk about getting together over dinner or a movie, and months go by without it happening. He will talk about going to a festival with you, and the festival will come and go and he didn't. He might even talk about just sitting down to talk with you over a cup of coffee. Fast forward months down the road, and he will not take the time to drink one cup of coffee with you. That's a player. One Zodiac sign that has zero tolerance for flakes is Leo. You can read about that sign here: Leo Traits | Star Sign in The Spotlight

He Won’t Discuss the Future

Besides flaking out on things, he won't discuss the future with you. He may not be somebody who even thinks about tomorrow, because he's so busy trying to scratch that itch he has for sex. Or, maybe he has his own future planned. You're just not part of it. He might get upset and say that you're pressuring him if you ask if your relationship is exclusive. He might say that you are invading his privacy if you ask him if he ever wants to get married. He might be offended if you ask him what he wants to do with his life. He knows he has a future. He just doesn't care to share it with you. Typical player.

He’s Secretive

Not only is he secretive about his plans for the future, he will swear you to secrecy about your so-called relationship. He doesn't want to introduce you to anybody who he knows. He doesn't want to tell you about his family. He doesn't want to go anyplace with you because he doesn't want anybody to see you together. It's because he doesn't have a relationship with you. He's just using you for sex. Maybe you are enjoying the sex too, but when you express that you want more than that, he will tell you to keep that to yourself. If the time you spend with him is a big secret, something's not right and he's playing you. He might say it's just a little white lie and it’s okay if he keeps you a secret. Read about little white lies here: Are White Lies Ok? | The Truth

He is Immature

Mature people do more than just go to work and pay their bills. They are responsible to other people. They don't run from commitment and they don't brag about how emotionally unattached they are. Emotionally immature people do that. A player will be afraid to emotionally attach themselves to anyone because they are so self-centered they don't want to give of themselves to anyone else. That doesn't mean that everyone who won't commit to you is self-centered or immature. It just means that if you're spending time with someone who cannot commit or be responsible for anyone including friends, lovers, family, and their own children they are too immature to do that.

He Doesn’t Like Dates

Some men say they don't like to go on dates. They say they don't believe in it, that's it’s too ritualistic, or maybe it's just too expensive. Everybody likes dating the right person. If he doesn't want to go out on dates with you, he doesn't think you're worth it. He thinks you were just there to serve him and he doesn't care about the fact that you want to be treated like a human being. If a man refuses to date you, but he loves having sex with you, congratulations you're being played.

Signs He’s Not a Player

Signs you're dealing with someone who is not playing you are the exact opposite of the signs that you are dealing with a player. Read on for ten signs that a man is not playing you.

He Engages After Sex

Cuddling, having a conversation, or even going somewhere after sex is very important if you have an actual relationship. If all you're doing is having sex and then parting, you're being played.

He Calls

Men who want a relationship with you and not just sex will take the time to pick up the phone and call you. They will ask you about your day, ask you what you want to do, and engage with you emotionally.

He Dates You

He Dates You

A man who wants a relationship with you will be proud of you. He will want to take you out places and have people see the beautiful woman who he has on his arm. If a man is dating you, he's not playing you.

He Is Emotionally Available

Being emotionally available is a sign that a man is not playing you. He will care about your feelings, ask for your thoughts and opinions on things, and be your go to person when you have a bad day or you're celebrating something that you're proud of.

He Plans a Future with You

Any time a man makes plans for the future with you, he thinks of you as someone who he's in a relationship with and who has an important part in his life. He is not playing you.

He’s Responsible

A sign that a man is not a player is that he is a responsible adult. He gets to work, pays his bills, takes care of his family, and contributes to his community. He is not irresponsible with himself, the people he loves, nor is he irresponsible with other people's feelings, including yours.

He Introduces You to People

 Besides taking you out in public among strangers to date you, he will introduce you to his family and friends if he is not playing you. That means that you're a part of his life and he is not just using you for sex.

He Tells you About Himself

A man who is not playing you will give you access to information about himself. He will tell you about his past, his hopes and dreams, the things that hurt him and make him feel happy and he might even tell you his innermost deepest secrets.

He Does What He Says He Will

A man who is not a player will show up when he says he will. If something comes up, he will call to reschedule. He will be honest with you and we'll make promises he doesn't keep.

He is Physically Present

Players are absent when they're not having sex. Non players are around for more than just the sex. They'll come around just to talk and spend time with you, they will call, and be there for you when you've had a bad day.

What to Do About a Player

So what should you do when you realize you're dealing with a player? If you're okay with just having sex, you don't have to do anything. Chances are, if you've read this far down in the article though, you don't want to be played. Dump your player. Being stuck with a player temporarily won't hold you back from a real relationship, but it will waste your time. Don't give them what they want and they will go away and find someone else to play with. Problem solved.

Players are people who manipulate your emotions, pretending to care about you as a person just so they can use you for sex. Signs that your man is a player include him refusing to date you, him breadcrumbing you, and him being emotionally unavailable. Signs a man is not ghosting you include that he calls just to talk to you, he introduces you to the people who he loves, and he is emotionally available to you. Players only play with people who let them. So if you're stuck with a player you don't want to be played, dump your player. There is love waiting for you that might enter your life before you know it. So who needs a player anyways?

Would you like to know what the future holds for your love life? Reach out to one of our psychics to find out today.

We have selected the most relevant psychics for this article, you can connect with any of them and get accurate advice on this subject.

Greg Colt
Greg Colt
Love Greg Colt
5
$5.61 – $5.66 / min
Ask Selena
Ask Selena
Love Ask Selena
4.5
$2.25 / min
Master Enigma
Master Enigma
Love Master Enigma
4.5
$1.25 / min
Stay True
Stay True
Love Stay True
4.5
$1.39 / min
Stormie Bleu
Stormie Bleu
Love Stormie Bleu
4.5
$1.57 – $1.94 / min
True Vision
True Vision
Love True Vision
4.5
$1.53 / min
All articles