Some people say they would rather have never met their ex, but a failed relationship can sometimes teach you more than when it succeeds. Find out what kind of lessons you can learn about yourself, love, and life in general from your ex.
A relationship that went poorly or ended especially badly might be something you wish had never happened, but would you believe that even bad relationships are useful? Some people are lucky and end up creating the miracle of a child with their ex. Other people are not so lucky and it seems like the relationship with their ex created nothing but disaster, heartbreak, and hard feelings. Every relationship we have whether it was a good one or a bad one can teach us valuable things. Join Mysticsense to find out nine priceless things we can all learn from our ex. Find out why we have to have exes- aka failed relationships- and what a bad breakup means for us. Then read farther to find out what our exes and those relationships teach us about life, love, and ourselves. Some people are meant to be with us for life- and others to teach us things. Find out what now.
Why Do We Have Exes?
Most people have at least one ex, and other people have multiple exes. This happens for one reason- because a relationship failed. Maybe we did everything we could to hold on to someone who was never compatible with us to begin with. Maybe they were doing things behind our backs and we didn't even know it. Maybe there was abuse, and one day you pulled yourself together and left. Maybe one or both of you weren't in love. Whatever the reason, we have exes because the relationship for some reason or another failed.
It seems like it would be better if we never would have met them. It would have saved us countless sleepless nights, heartbreak, and kept us from fighting a losing battle. Failed relationships can tell you more about yourself, love, and life in general than any other relationship. If you only have one ex, and you're happily settled down with someone else, okay, fair enough, you made one mistake and you moved on to perfection. Most of us aren't so lucky, and have to kiss a lot of frogs before we find our Prince or Princess. The author’s mother once told her until you find the right person, relationships are going to fail. Romance isn't like friendship. It's different. We don’t just have romance breakups but friend breakups too. Read about best friend falling outs here: Am I Having a Best Friend Breakup?
We expect our romantic partners to be in an all-purpose relationship with us. We expect them to be our very best friend in the whole wide world. We also expect them to be the greatest sexual partner that we ever had. We expect them to be the perfect domestic mate, doing all of their share of the chores, but also paying their share of the bills. If we have kids with them, we expect them to be the perfect parent. As we age and life changes us, we expect them to continue to be the exact person we fell in love with. Those are some big shoes to fill.
Considering all those expectations, it's not surprising that a lot of romances, and especially marriages, fail. In the United States alone, about 50% of first marriages end in divorce. 2nd marriages and 3rd marriages are more likely to end in divorce than first marriages. Some experts say that people cohabiting before marriage are more likely to break up than people who marry first. This can make bothering to date or look for love at all seem hopeless. However, no matter how many people's romantic relationships end in breakups, people still keep trying. How do we fall in love anyways? Find out what the Zodiac has to say about that here: How Zodiac Signs Fall in Love
When the Breakup Was Bad
After a breakup, you might wonder if there was any purpose at all in the relationship. You might feel like you were so hurt that you would have been better off having never met the person. You might remember some of the red flags that popped up but you ignored because as they say, “love is blind”. You might remember what you were like before you had that relationship, and you don't like some of the ways that it changed you. Your ex might have been abusive, a financial user, or someone who soured you to the idea of relationships entirely.
If you had kids with your ex, and they're not doing their part as a parent, you might still love your kids, but regret having children specifically with them. The sex might have been so bad you wish you were still a virgin. They may have done things that took such a toll on you, your self-esteem, health, or general appearance is suffering. Even the worst of relationships still have value. While it is true that you could happily do without the awful things that happened, there are still some good things. You opened your heart to someone, shared your life with them, and you had some experiences, bad and good. You also learned a lot from the relationship whether you know it or not. Your ex may have even been playing you. Read here to find out: How to Know if He is a Player
What You Learn from an Ex
Maybe you don't think you learned anything from the relationship you had with your ex, but you did. You learn multiple things about yourself, about love, and specifically about life. Each relationship we have, no matter what type of relationship it is, changes us permanently. Some relationships make us feel better, and others make us feel worse, but we can always take lessons away from a relationship.
About Yourself
The first thing you learn from any failed relationship, and the ex who you had that relationship with, are things about yourself. You learn what your type is, including your taste, and whether it's bad or good. You learn what your personal limits are and what you can't tolerate. You also learn about toxic cycles that you're stuck in that need to be broken. Make sure to practice self-care after a breakup. Find some magical tips for self-care here: Magical Care for Self in Stressful Times
Your Type
No matter how awful your ex was, somehow they were your type. While it's true there are some people who have a body type, and a look that everybody who they date must have, most people really don't. Most people have a personality type. Is your type more extroverted or introverted? Are they home bodies, or do they love to travel? Do they love to read, or do they hate to read? Are they into nature, or prefer the city? Somehow your ex was your type.
Your Limits
Your ex teaches you what your limits are. What was the breaking point? Was it their refusal to spend time with you and they preferred to only hang out with their friends? Was the sax terrible? Was your ex a loser who was always asking you for money instead of getting up and going to work? Did they pick fights and you just wanted peace? Whatever your ex did to make the relationship fail indicates limits that you have to your tolerance levels. They may have just been difficult to deal with. Find out how to deal with difficult people here: How to Deal with Difficult People
Your Toxic Cycles
If you find yourself complaining that all men or women are the same, no, they are not. You just fall for the same kind of person every time. A failed relationship that goes the same way every other failed relationship goes reveals a lot about the toxic cycles that you are locked into. Certain toxic people will be drawn to these cycles. All you have to do is break the cycle to make it stop. Maybe you grew up in a toxic household and you didn't realize you were continuing those cycles. Your exes can show you that.
About Love
There are some ugly truths that you will learn about love from your relationship with an ex. You will learn that things aren't always fair in relationships. And you will learn that real love doesn't actually hurt, only bad relationships. Even if you regret it, a relationship, no matter how bad it was, teaches you how to allow yourself to be vulnerable to other people.
It’s Not Fair Sometimes
Sometimes, you do everything right in your relationship, but someone you're involved with doesn't. Maybe they've told you a million times they love you, but they cheat and dump you anyway. Maybe they're married to their job, and they won't bother to make time for you even though they could. Maybe they're too selfish for a relationship. Sometimes things aren't fair, and you can't fix it. Your ex can teach you that. This causes irreconcilable differences and you can read about those here: How an Irreconcilable Difference Causes Breakups
True Love Doesn’t Hurt
Some people say love hurts, but no it really doesn't. Love comforts, soothes, and makes life better. Someone who loves you would never deliberately do anything to hurt you. They will make you their top priority and put you before themselves. They will never let anybody talk badly about you behind your back, they will never abuse you, and they will never make you question whether they love you. If somebody hurts you over and over, they don't love you, and chances are your ex didn't.
How to Be Vulnerable
Letting down your shields, and trusting someone else enough to be close to you it's called being vulnerable. It means giving someone access to your personal life, your deepest secrets, and your feelings. It's something that you have to do to have a significant other. You did that with your ex. Even if you've never done that before, and the relationship failed anyways, at least your ex taught you to completely open yourself to someone else. It's good practice for when the right person comes along. When the right person comes along it might even be love at first sight, and you can read about that here: Is Love at First Sight Real?
About Life
Finally, you learn some valuable lessons about life. There are three things that a failed relationship with your ex will teach you that no other relationship will. When a relationship fails, you have to learn how to let go even if you don't want to. You learn how to grieve. Then, you learn the unthinkable. You learn how to move on even if you don't think you can.
How to Let Go
When a relationship fails, you have to let it go. You also have to let the person go. You not only have to let go of the life that you had with them, but you have to let go of the hopes and dreams for the future that you had with them. Learning to let go of that relationship will open you to a better relationship. There's only one way to move in life, and that is forward. Read about how to move forward here: Move Forward or Get Back Together With Someone?
How To Grieve
When a relationship fails, there's going to be a lot of grief. Most people think that grief only happens when somebody dies, but it can happen when anybody or anything we love comes to an end. Your ex will teach you what methods you personally use to grieve. They will teach you whether you need to reach out to others when you're hurting, or you need time to process things on your own. Your ex will teach you whether this level of grief makes you bitter, or whether it makes you want to love other people more deeply. No matter how hard you fight it, if you loved someone enough, losing a relationship will make you grieve.
How to Move On
The final thing that losing the relationship that you had with an ex will teach you is how to move on with your life even if you don't think you can. You might wonder why you bother to get out of bed in the morning. You might also lose a lot of sleep and wonder if you will ever be able to rest again. You might question whether you should abandon all the hopes and dreams you had together, but eventually you will have new dreams. You will learn to pick up the pieces of your shattered heart, and you will see that the love you shared with your ex is not the only love that you have in your life.
You will see the love that you have with your friends, your family, your pets, your children, and your community in general. You will see the undying love of your higher power, and all of creation that you are intimately connected with. You will see the powerful love of self that you have that gave you the strength to leave a dead end relationship, and the love of self that propels you forward in life without this relationship you thought kept you going. One day, you will move on to the point that you will allow yourself to be vulnerable to somebody else again and new love will find you.
You might think that your ex did nothing but destroy your life, but they taught you valuable lessons about yourself, love, and about life in general. Take these lessons, no matter how painful they are, and let them show you how not to behave in relationships, what not to tolerate, and what to look for instead. Love is waiting for you, and it will find you.
Would you like to know what the future has in store for your love life? Reach out to one of our psychics to find out today.
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