Everybody wants unconditional love, and plenty of people talk about it, saying they won’t have a relationship with somebody who can’t promise it. What is unconditional love? What happens when relationships turn difficult, or impossible to bear when you say you love someone unconditionally?
Is it possible to stop loving someone who you say you love unconditionally, and is a soulmate breakup and reunion going to happen when you both have unconditional love for one another? Read on to find out!
What is a Lover?
“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.“ – Robert A. Heinlein
When deciding what is a lover, there are different definitions depending on who you ask. Some people only define lovers as people who share intimacy in passionate love, and other people say lovers in love don’t have to be romantically involved. Not everybody we share love with is someone we are romantically involved with, and those who love us can be family or friends, and all it means is that you love each other. So then we ask ourselves, what is love?
Love can be defined by Merriam-Webster as “Strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties” and they also define it as“affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests.” A lover is someone who has some form of love for you!
We have all experienced different kinds of love from our parents and kids, family members, friends, and significant others, but we have also experienced love from our pets. This demonstrates that there are so many different kinds of love.
The Meaning of Unconditional Love
“The greatest gift that you can give to others is unconditional love and acceptance.” – Brian Tracy
The meaning of unconditional love can have many definitions. In comparison to conditional love, unconditional love is “given freely” to the loved one no matter what. This is the opposite of conditional love where, instead, love is “earned” when a lover is meeting the demands of their partner.
An example of conditional love would be your parents loving you only if you live as a heterosexual but disowning you if you come out as gay. Unconditional love would be them accepting you for who you are, regardless of who you date. While unconditional love means somebody loves you no matter what, there are things unconditional love is not.
What Unconditional Love Isn’t
“I’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” – Attributed to Marilyn Monroe
Bombshell actress Marilyn Monroe may or may not have been the one who said the above quote, but one thing is for sure - It’s been used over and over again by people who want to manipulate people who love them into tolerating bad behavior.
Unconditional love does not dictate that you have to stand for mistreatment or otherwise horrible behavior from somebody who you love. Doing what is demanded of you no matter what is called unconditional dedication, and just because you love somebody doesn’t mean you will do or say certain things.
An example of unconditional dedication is staying in a relationship because you feel like you have to for some reason, rather than staying in it because you want to. You don’t have to love, or even like, somebody to stay with them, and there is something even more surprising. A love fact is that you don’t, under any circumstances, have to do certain things, including staying in a relationship with somebody who you love unconditionally. You don’t under any circumstances have to do certain things, including staying with somebody who you love unconditionally. Not unless you choose to.
What’s the Period Between Love and Being “In Love”?
“The course of true love never did run smooth.” – Shakespeare
“What’s the difference between love you and I love you?” It comes down to whether you simply feel love for somebody or whether you are actively involved in a relationship with them. There can be plenty of reasons to avoid being personally involved with somebody who you feel strong love for. It can be that they make life too difficult, or that they are just selfish.
“Don’t settle for a relationship that won’t let you be yourself.“ – Oprah Winfrey
The things we do for love, meaning what we tolerate for the sake of our relationships, can push us to the point of wanting to run away. It is true that nobody is perfect, and all of us have to be forgiven of our imperfections. At the same time, however, some people just make it impossible to have a life with them because of how they choose to be.
Some people cheat and make it unbearable for their lover to endure the heartbreak of dealing with it. Some people are abusive, and some even pick fights because they like the adrenaline rush from the drama. Not everyone wants to stick around for this. Substance abuse has driven some people to break things off with people they love.
Other people cannot stand the living conditions their loved one expects them to endure. One woman was even divorced by her husband because he said she brought home way too many dogs! Whatever makes life too tough to live with someone, you may have to leave because you just can’t cope with the way they are.
“Love is not selfish.” - 1 Corinthians 13:7
If you love somebody, even if they say they love you, their actions speak louder than words, and if they are not behaving in loving ways, it might not matter how they say they feel. If your bank account is drained constantly by a lover who is capable of working but would rather live off of your income while you work three jobs to make ends meet, their selfishness might be a dealbreaker at some point.
If you tell them they have to get a job or get out, that does not mean you no longer love them. It just means that you have put your foot down, refusing to be used by somebody who is being selfish. Early on in love stages, we learn a lot about people, and sometimes selfishness rears its ugly head and destroys relationships.
“People are weird. When we find someone with weirdness that is compatible with ours, we team up and call it love.” – Dr. Seuss
Compatible love is important in maintaining a relationship. The meaning of pity in love can be as simple as staying with somebody who you aren’t compatible with because they beg you to, but you don’t have to. If you do love somebody you are not compatible with who begs you to stay, think of the fact that staying can hold the both of you back from finding people you truly are compatible with.
Love means being honest with ourselves as well as those who we love, and breaking off a romance to be friends, so you can both find compatible partners. This is sometimes the most loving thing to do.
I Don’t Love You Anymore!
“Falling out of love isn’t true, it’s an excuse of those who woke up and realized they never really loved.“ – Ana Luciana
Anybody who tells you this, and means it, has never felt unconditional love for you and don’t let them tell you they did. Unconditional love is not based on being happy with what people do or say, and it is not based on liking everything about them. Unconditional love goes much deeper.
“I don’t love you anymore because you gained weight” can more accurately be said as “I am not sexually attracted to you anymore, and our entire relationship was based solely on sex.” That’s okay, but sex and love are two entirely different things, and knowing the difference is important.
Chances are, when things like this happen that make you decide to step away from someone, there are things you still love about them, but you don’t love the idea of being with them because you are so upset about how they are behaving. There may have been red flags about the way your loved one was, but you chose to ignore them until you couldn’t take it anymore.
It does not mean you don’t love them. It means you love yourself enough that you are not going to put yourself through being mistreated anymore. Furthermore, it does not mean the love is gone; it just means the relationship is.
Breaking Up with Your Soulmate and Reunions
“The only thing sweeter than union is reunion.” – Kathleen McGowan
Do soulmates break up and if they do, does that mean they no longer love one another? Love after the death of a relationship with your soulmate is possible because love itself never dies. Breaking up with your soulmate is perhaps the most painful thing you could ever experience, but sometimes it happens. Sometimes our soulmates are meant to be with us for a very long time, but sometimes, we only have them with us for a short time, and we can’t change that.
Sometimes, though, a soulmate breakup can occur, and you can make up and move forward, stronger together than ever before. In situations like this, you both remember what went wrong, and do your very best to make sure that nothing like that ever happens again. Some people make being in each other’s lives their top priority, and when you find a soulmate like that, you will be blessed with many wonderful years together.
Is it Destiny Love?
“Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone - we find it with another.” – Thomas Merton
Some people say that our destiny is to meet our one true love, and nothing in our lives can be fulfilled until we do. Some people would say that the destiny of every human being, however, is to love, and to love many people for our whole lives. As we grow as people, we meet many other people who come into our lives.
We share joys and sorrows together, being one another’s support in bad times and having good times together, joyously. Some of the people we love stay with us for life, and others are in and out for shorter time periods.
We take countless people into our lives and our hearts for the short time we are on this earth, and we make more of an impression on all of them than we can ever realize. If all we can do in this life is to love one another, then that is good enough. After all, it was the Dali Lama who said “The planet does not need more successful people. The planet desperately needs more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers, and lovers of all kind.” May we be those peaceful, healing, restoring, storytelling lovers the world needs today.
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